Page 28 of Blade
He hadn’t elaborated that much about his family, but from what she heard, they sounded like normal people who provided a loving and well-adjusted home for their sons. They certainly raised one, evidenced by the man standing in front of her. Robert was lucky in that department—in all departments. “Your mom sounds sweet.”
“She is. But aren’t all moms?”
Flashes of the horrific fights between Amber’s parents zoomed inside her head like a pair of Tasmanian devils. She could still hear her mother’s shrill voice and some of the insults flung at her father during one of their many screaming matches. But that was a long time ago. Her parents had fallen into a well-worn truce now that they were older, and their verbal brawls were reduced to the occasional bickerings of an old married couple.
Guilt immediately washed over Amber for not agreeing with Robert’s statement right away. It wasn’t her mother’s fault for feeling bitter because she was neglected by her husband. Work always came first for the man, which is why Amber always craved his approval and attention, even now, when she swore it didn’t matter anymore.
“Amber?”
“Sorry.” She shook the thoughts from her head, and then decided to be honest. “I was wondering if ‘sweet’ was a word I’d use to describe my mother. It’s not.”
He looked shocked at her admission, with his blond brows high on his forehead and jaw hanging open.
“She’s not mean or anything like that. She’s actually very nice. She’s good-natured and fun, with a great sense of humor. Everyone loves her. She’s a strong woman. Probably the strongest woman I know.” Amber huffed, involuntarily. “She has to be in order to put up with my father.”
Robert’s eyes widened further.
“My father’s hard,” she explained. “He’s tough. He expects a lot. From everyone. My parents fought a lot when I was growing up because his career always came first, and my mother resented it. So did I. Instead of getting into trouble to get his attention, I did the opposite. I did everything I could to impress him and earn his respect.” The familiar melancholy and regret about her relationship with her father washed over her like a gloomy fog. She wished she could let go of the past, but it would always be a barrier around her heart. “He’s not the type of man to show his feelings or affection. I tell myself he’s proud of me, but I’m not sure I fully believe it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not what he expected.”
“What did he expect?”
“A son.” She didn’t have to think about it for a second.
An audible gasp of air filled Robert’s lungs, and his eyes grew even bigger.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. I know my father loves me. But I also know he wishes he had a son instead of a daughter. And if I were a boy, I would have had an instant bond with him. But, because we basically have nothing in common, it’s hard.” She held up her hand, realizing she was being too critical. “I take that back. We’re both big sports fans, so that’s something. He’s the reason I took an interest in sports. I worked hard to form a relationship with him when I was a kid. When he was home,” she added, her voice laden with sarcasm. “Much harder than he did. So, because I went to games with him—again, when he was home—that’s how we connected. It was still different because I’m a girl.” She shrugged, because she didn’t know how else to deal with the strained relationship with her father. “Things happened, and we drifted apart.”
The shocked expression that had been glued on Robert’s face morphed into sadness, and Amber never wanted to see that look in his eyes again. She came to terms with her situation a long time ago. “It’s not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t talk. We do. We’re just not close.” She shrugged. “It is what it is.”
“Of course, it’s a big deal.” He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her in the security of his thick biceps. He buried his nose in her hair and rested his head on her shoulder, as if he were the one who needed comforting. “I take it you’re an only child?”
“Yep. It’s just me. So, no buffer.”
“Don’t ever feel like you’re not good enough.” He pulled back to look into her eyes but kept his arms around her. “You are. You outshine everyone I know.”
She melted at the way his words of support made her feel and wanted to tell him how much it meant to her, but she was rendered speechless, and this very well may be a first for her. Hugging him tighter, she managed to squeak out a barely audible, “Thank you.”
He rested his hand on her cheek and smashed his lips against hers. “I don’t ever want you to feel bad. You’re too beautiful. Too good. You devote your life to helping people. You make a difference in this world.”
“Stop,” she said, softly, blinking back the wetness in her eyes.
“It’s true.” He lifted her chin with his knuckle. “You know I’m right.”
She nodded because her work held value. Self-confidence wasn’t her issue. Her father was. “I know. I worked extremely hard to get where I am in my career.” She pulled a few pins from her hair and set the constricting bun loose, suddenly exhausted. “Would you mind if I took a quick shower? I feel the curry on me from lunch.” She brushed her teeth when she went back to the office after their picnic, but she didn’t have any mouthwash.
He nuzzled her neck and inhaled. “All I smell is citrus.”
“That’s my lotion.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“You’re very sweet.”
“I just speak the truth.”
