Page 51 of Punk Rock Reflection
She sat down and kissed his cheek, then she leaned across the table and reached for Angel’s hand. She gave it a squeeze and threw him a kiss, which he returned.
Tommy scanned the table. Everyone had huge smiles on their faces and were riveted on the presenters. He returned his eyes to the stage just in time to see the envelope being opened.
“And the winner is . . . ‘Sex & Greed!’ Immortal Angel featuring Brandon Bullet and Derek MacAlister of Bulletproof!”
The entire table full of people jumped to their feet and congratulated one another while the place erupted into a round of applause. Tommy immediately found himself engulfed in a smothering hug from Jessi and Angel as his heart soared.
On the way to the stage to receive the award, he caught the eyes of several rock stars in the audience. The drummer from Bad Luck Opals gave Brandon a high-five. The bassist for Lyrical Odyssey gave Tommy a pat on the back as he passed, and the band’s lead singer nodded and mouthed a silent “Congrats” in his direction.
Brandon and Derek were the first to say a few words of appreciation into the mic. Both had long lists of people to thank, including Immortal Angel for allowing them the opportunity to collaborate on the song. But when Tommy took the podium, he could only think of one person to thank—Jessi.
He looked at the award and then into the audience until he found her gazing at him with adoring eyes. “There are a million people I should probably mention right now, but the truth is that there is only one person I need to thank. My wife. Thank you, Jessi. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be standing here today. You’re my rock. My backbone. My driving force. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. I love you, hon. This one’s for you.” He held the award a little higher and blew her a kiss with his free hand.
Jessi had her fingertips to her lips, and Tommy could see them shaking from across the room. She wiped the corners of her eyes and gave him a teary smile before she mouthed, “I love you too.”
Tommy didn’t wait for the others to finish their thank-you speeches or for the applause to die down. He hopped from the stage and made a beeline back to the table. Jessi was on her feet, and her arms were wide open as he flew into them. “I meant every word of it,” he said.
“I know. You’ve told me a million times over the years.”
“It seems like I don’t tell you often enough how much your support means to me. Here.” He handed her the award. “I want you to have this one.”
She hugged it to her chest. “Thank you. I love it. Even though it belongs to you, and you deserve it, I’m going to keep it on a shelf in my workroom so that every time I look at it, I’ll be reminded of the beautiful speech you just gave me.”
When the rest of the group returned to the table, and they all sat down. Alyssa flipped her long black hair over her shoulder and elbowed Damien in the ribs. “Why didn’t you thank me like Tommy thanked Jessi? Or at least mention me?”
Damien stood up, faced the audience, and cupped his hands around his mouth. “Listen up, everybody! I forgot to thank my wife for her support, so before she kicks my ass . . .” he turned to face Alyssa and bowed at the waist. “Thank you, Alyssa, for putting up with my shit all these years.”
Alyssa shielded her eyes with her hand and shrunk down in her seat as the room erupted in laughter. “You’re so embarrassing.” She tugged on Damien’s arm. “Sit down.”
He nudged her shoulder with his knuckle. “But you love me.”
The dynamic of their relationship was both comical and endearing, and Tommy loved to watch them. Movement to his left brought his attention to Angel, and a wave of guilt engulfed him. He’d said so many appreciative things to Jessi on stage, but he never even thanked Angel. He moved his hand to Angel’s thigh and gave it a tender squeeze. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mention your name, A. That was wrong of me. I love you, and I don’t know what I’d do without you. My heart wouldn’t be complete without you. I owe you so much. For so many things. Mostly, for giving me the courage to be out as a bisexual man. You liberated me. No one, not even Jessi, was able to do that for me. You made it easy, and I can never thank you enough for that. Or for loving me the way you do. If I thanked you every day for the rest of my life, it still wouldn’t be enough.” He leaned in and gave Angel a long, closed-mouthed kiss that, he hoped, conveyed the love he had for this amazing man.
“You don’t ever need to thank me.” Angel gazed at Tommy, eyes pooling with sentiment. “Your love is your gift, and I cherish it every day.You are the moon and the sun and bathe my world in light. I’m grateful for every second together. We’ve shared so many wonderful things.” His gaze shifted to the stage, and his expression turned melancholy. “I’m so happy we were able to share this incredible ride to stardom together.” He lowered his eyes. “For however long it lasted.”
The love that overflowed in Tommy’s heart got kicked aside by devastating guilt. He knew Angel had been holding back his feelings about his decision to step away from the band, but, right now, there was no denying the remorse and pain burning in those ebony eyes, and it crushed Tommy. He caressed Angel’s leg under the table, feeling lower than he felt in his life. “A, I didn’t—”
“You don’t need to say anything,” Angel cut in. “I don’t want to discuss it, especially right now.” He displayed a lackluster and forced smile. “Let’s enjoy this amazing evening.”
Tommy nodded, guilt still gnawing at his gut, and he wrapped his arms around Angel.
The emcee’s voice broadcasting through the sound system brought his attention back to the stage as the next award was announced.
“So, who’s your pick?” Brandon asked, ready to drop his hundred-dollar bill in the middle of the table.
“We’re still doing this?” Tommy asked.
“Hell yeah.”
Tommy looked at Angel to make sure he was OK, because it didn’t seem right to engage in a friendly wager while his husband was hurting, but Angel nodded and encouraged him to pick the winner of the next award.
“All right.” The next award was for Best New Artist, and Tommy listened intently. He wasn’t quite sure about this one since all the nominees were blockbusters. Tommy rubbed his chin, momentarily surprised to find a short, neat beard and not the thicket of hair that had been there for the last few months. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll just pick my favorite of the bunch. Tryst Disrupted.” He didn’t know if he was more surprised that they won or that the guys at the table were still betting. Well, the Bulletproof guys were still betting. Jimmy and Damien kept their wallets closed, as did their wives. Jessi suddenly threw a hundred-dollar bill into the center of the table, and Tommy turned toward her with shock. “What are you doing?”
“I’m getting in on the action. Why shouldn’t I win a little cash?”
Angel leaned forward to look directly at Jessi. “You, my darling wife, are such an entrepreneur. I just may have to join you.”
Tommy’s mouth hung open when Angel also dropped money into the pile. “Angel!”
