Page 17 of Street of Dreams
“It’s not personal.” Jake shrugged. “I don’t just kiss for the hell of it.”
“Why not? It’s an act of intimacy.”
“There’s your answer.”
“Haven’t you ever kissed someone? I meanreallykissed someone? Just because you wanted them to know you cared?”
Frustration made Jake’s lips press into a tight line. “Me and you make out like crazy when we fool around.”
“That’s it? That’s the only time you kiss?”
Jake shrugged with indifference. “That’s it.”
Mac recognized the façade right away and saw the underlying pain that Jake was trying to hide. It was clear and poignant behind his eyes, and Mac wondered why he never saw it before. Maybe, because he never bothered to look.
Uncomfortable and on display, Jake pulled the pack of Marlboro from his pocket and stuck a cigarette between his lips. He toyed with it, taking it in and out of his mouth and pretended to take a drag, but respected Mac enough not to light it.
Longing tugged at Mac’s heart as he continued to watch Jake, who wouldn’t return his gaze.
After a few moments, the corners of Jake’s mouth curled into a tiny smile, and his eyes twinkled. He took a long drag of the unlit cigarette, sucking on the filter, and then he offered it to Mac.
Confused, Mac shook his head. He didn’t smoke. But when he didn’t take the cigarette, Jake placed the end between Mac’s lips and raised his brows, encouraging him to take it. When Mac felt the wetness on the tip, he realized what Jake was trying to do, and clamped onto the cigarette. The filter between his lips had just been in Jake’s mouth, and it still bore the damp remnants of his saliva. Mac drew on it with the craving of an addict and smiled with the cigarette still in his mouth as he thought about Jake’s contrasting personalities. There was so much neediness in Jake’s touch, tremendous longing in his eyes, and, at times, there was innocence behind his smile. His emotions overrode his words, and Mac wished with everything in his soul that one day Jake would overcome his fears and just let himself live in the moment without fear of admitting his true feelings.
