Page 38 of The Roadie
After a quick bite to eat at Pret A Manger, they crossed into the park. Serenity filled Kira’s heart, as it always did whenever she strolled along the path. It was still early, so there weren’t as many people, which made it more peaceful. The gentle sway of the trees, the chirping birds, and the squirrels zigzagging in front of them, all brought so much happiness into her life. “Don’t you just love it?” she asked Brett.
He quietly glanced at the greenery around him. “This is like nothing I ever expected to see in the middle of New York City. Was the whole island like this at one time?”
She nodded, a little sad that big business destroyed something so perfect. “I guess so, but New York built a good portion of the nation’s economy. The park is still almost a thousand acres, so I guess that’s a compromise. The north part of the park is a virtual forest. You saw it from my balcony.”
“Maybe, one day, we could walk the length of the park,” he said, slowly.
The suggestion, although something that Kira would love to look forward to, stirred up bittersweet feelings. She couldn’t make plans, because she had no idea if they’d ever pan out. Instead of stating the obvious, she just gave him a sad smile.
He understood and nodded.
They continued walking quietly and found themselves in front of the fountain. Brett stopped, dug his hand into his pocket and held up a coin. He stared at it for a long time without saying anything, then squeezed his eyes closed with deep concentration. When he opened them, there was a light sheen covering them that caught the reflection of the sun. The soft emotion in his rugged features seemed so out of place. He didn’t try to hide his vulnerability. It was clear to the naked eye. His heart was exposed. Visible to the world.
He flipped the coin into the fountain where it caused a small splash before it sunk to the bottom, along with dozens of other people’s dreams. He found another coin in his pocket and handed it to Kira. “Your turn.”
She swallowed hard and forced a smile, then took the coin and held it tightly in her fist. She wished for a chance. Not a miracle or divine intervention. Just a chance. That’s all she wanted. It didn’t have to work out, but she wanted to find out if it could. She threw the coin into the fountain and watched it float to the bottom and join Brett’s.
“I hope we wished for the same thing,” he said softly.
“I’m pretty sure we did.”
He dug into his pocket again and pulled out the rest of his change. It was a few dimes, a nickel, a quarter and four or five pennies. They took turns wishing on the coins and tossing them into the fountain until there were none left. She didn’t know how many wishes were below the water, but she knew that they each wished for the same thing over and over and over again.
A Town Car picked them up at 4:45 to take Brett to JFK. Kira insisted on it instead of an Uber, and she rode with him to the airport. Soft smiles were exchanged as they sat side by side with their fingers laced together. Kira gazed into Brett’s eyes and saw the longing and heartache behind them. It mirrored everything in her heart.
She had been struggling with her feelings for Brett, especially over the last week. She tried to deny it. She tried to tell herself that thinking about the tour coming to an end made her heart hurt because it was rapidly approaching, but she knew the real reason was that she fell hard and fast for Brett, and she didn’t want to say goodbye. They had been thrust into a relationship where they were together night and day, escalating the bond they shared. Where it probably would have taken most couples several months to get as close as they did, they accomplished it in several weeks.
She never believed people when they said they knew right away that their significant other wasthe one. Or that he or she was the one that got away. Now, Kira knew that those statements weren’t exaggerated. She hated that the latter was probably going to be true about Brett, and that’s what hurt the most.
Her chest squeezed at how much she cared about him. As she looked into his eyes, she knew he felt the same way. Yet, neither one of them wanted to admit the depth of their feelings out loud. She understood his hesitation. He probably thought it was too much too soon, but she had fallen in love with him. She didn’t know if he’d return those three little words, or if there’d be radio silence, but her heart told her that he’d say them. In a few minutes, they’d be at the airport and he’d return to California not knowing how she felt. If she was going to tell him, she needed to tell him now. This was her last chance.
She cupped his face in her hands and pushed her fingers through his beard. She scratched at his jaw with the tips of her fingers, and a teary-eyed smile spread across her cheeks as she gazed at him and tried to find the courage to say the words. He held onto her wrists, gently massaging the delicate skin with the pads of his thumbs, and smiled back at her. She swallowed hard. “I love you, Brett.”
His smile immediately dropped into a straight line, and, for a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to say it back to her, but then his eyes watered, and his brow wrinkled with emotion. “I love you too, Kira.”
Happiness filled every pore of her body and an excited laugh bubbled over her lips. The light laugh morphed into a small sob, which she choked back as she covered her mouth with her hand. “This is crazy. I have no idea how this is supposed to work, but we have to make it work, Brett. We have to.”
“I don’t know how to do this either. But we’ll find a way.” His kiss conveyed the passion in his heart. He breathed deeply through his nose as his lips devoured hers, and she melted into his chest.
With his arms enveloped around her, she was lost in his massive embrace. She felt protected and safe, and she knew that somehow, they’d figure it out. At least that’s what she hoped, because she couldn’t envision any other outcome.
The car stopped at the curb, along with Kira’s heart. They had seconds to say goodbye. She clung to him and never wanted to let go, but he wanted to look into her face.
He cupped her cheeks and studied her features. “I’ll call you as soon as I land.”
“You better.” She blinked back the tears, refusing to cry. It felt as if they’d just said goodbye in Chicago, only this time, her heart shattered into a million pieces.
“I wish you could come with me,” he said.
“I wish you could stay.”
They clung to one another as if they would never see each other again. Their lips pressed together in a long closed-mouth kiss, reveling in the closeness of their bodies. She memorized every brush of his beard on her skin and the way his strong hands rested on her back. She felt his breath on her cheek and the way his fingertips pressed into her flesh.
As they stood there and shared their last kiss goodbye, there was no holding back the tears that escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheek. When their lips parted, her vision was blurred, and her breath quivered as she inhaled.
“Please don’t cry.” His brow was wrinkled, and his lips were pressed together, clearly fighting his own emotions.
“I’m not,” she promised, resting her hand in the center of his chest to feel his heart. “I love you.”
