Page 9 of Mason Wilder
It took all of three seconds before Tessa remembered that her world had been shattered. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head, while a deep ache filled her from her throat to her gut as the memories of last night came flooding back. She wanted to forget it ever happened, but the humiliation and rejection kicked her in the teeth. For the first time in her life, she had no idea what the future held. She needed to erase the last entry on her life plan and figure out how to move forward with no direction. And without Mason as anything more than a friend. A new wave of anxiety washed over her because she had no idea how they were supposed to go back to being friends.
“Oh, God,” she groaned. After berating herself for five minutes, she slowly peeled down the comforter and looked at the clock on the nightstand. The tour bus wouldn’t be leaving for a few hours, and she planned on avoiding everyone – Mason, LucasandSindy – between now and then, but she had no idea how she was supposed to act as if nothing was wrong on the 10-hour ride back to New York. Maybe she could feign sickness and hide in her bunk. But how could she evade Sindy? Her best friend would know something was wrong right away.
Lucas would be the easiest, and the hardest, to fool. He knew her best, and if they were sitting down engaging in a one-on-one conversation there would be no way he wouldn’t see the trouble in her eyes. But if she kept him at a distance, he’d never notice.
She flipped the covers off and dangled her legs over the side of the bed. She told herself she’d get through this, but that was her head talking not her heart. A hot shower didn’t take away any of the trepidation or the heaviness that weighed down her spirit. As she stuffed the last of her things into her overnight bag, her phone signaled an incoming message. She hadn’t looked at it since last night and picked it up. There were two screens filled with messages, which she randomly read.
MASON: Are you all right?
MASON: Please talk to me. We can work it out.
MASON: We’re friends. There’s nothing we can’t get through.
LUCAS: Hey. Never heard back from you. Just wanted to make sure you’re OK.
MASON: Don’t shut me out.
LUCAS: Call me if you need me.
MASON:I’m sorry. I feel terrible. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
Tears stung Tessa’s eyes, blurring the words, and she didn’t want to read any more from Mason. The last message, the one that made her pick up her phone a few seconds ago, appeared on the screen. It was from Sindy. Thankfully, at least someone didn’t ask her if she was OK.
SINDY:Lucas said you were upset about something last night. Don’t sweat it. Guys can be jerks. Coffee?
She smiled at her best friend’s statement. It was true, even a guy as cool as Mason Wilder was capable of being a jerk. If only for not seeing how perfect she was for him. She contemplated meeting Sindy for breakfast but shook her head. Surely, she’d blurt out what had gone down last night, and she couldn’t take the chance that Sindy wouldn’t pass along the info to Lucas. Eventually she’d tell Sindy, but not yet. The whole situation was too raw, and she felt too exposed.
TESSA:I’m over it. Raincheck on the coffee. Meet you on the bus.
She wasn’t over anything and thought about the years she wasted pining after Mason. Was she going to give up so easily? Defeat had never been in her vocabulary. Why did it invade her mind now? She didn’t want to think about it. Right now, she was mortified and heartbroken and wanted to hide from everyone. She slipped out of the hotel without notice and onto the tour bus. Luckily, no fans lingered because she wasn’t in the mood to put on a happy face. No one was on the bus yet, so she retreated to her bunk and closed the curtain. She never hid from anything before and felt like a coward, but the idea of seeing Mason made her chest hurt.
“Fuck it.” She pulled the curtain open and stomped out of her bunk. She made coffee in the Keurig and sat in the booth tapping her spoon nervously on the table. Rehashing the night with Mason jarred something in her head, and she realized she was thumping out a beat. She could turn the internal battle into a song. It would also give her a reason to sit alone in her bunk, and she returned to the solitude of the small space.
With her bass across her lap, she bobbed her head to the new tune. She had a pad and pen, her coffee, and her bass. This is how she’d get through the ride home. A few minutes later, voices filled the bus as Sindy, Lucas and Mason boarded. Tessa gulped and her pulse quickened, but she didn’t react. Instead, she remained focused on her songwriting, immersed in her own little bubble.
“Tessa?” Sindy called. “What are you working on?”
Shit. She should have plugged in her headphones. “Something new. I’ll plug in my ears, so I don’t bother you guys. I’m gonna work on a new song on the ride home.” She hoped her voice sounded strong, because her spirit was ready to collapse.
Lucas was suddenly in front of her, squatting with his elbows on his knees and smiling. “Already? That’s my little sister. Never wasting a moment when she could be doing something to further the band. Let’s hear what you got so far.”
“No. Hopefully by the time we get home I’ll have the basic outline. That’s why I want to take advantage of this quiet time. You know it’ll be a whirlwind as soon as we get home. Unpacking. Seeing Mom, Dad and Papi. I want to write while it’s still fresh in my head.” She sounded so unaffected. So normal. But she couldn’t look him in the eyes.
Lucas smiled proudly. “Always working your fingers to the bone.”
Sindy approached and stood behind Lucas. They made eye contact for a few seconds, but that was all the time Sindy needed to realize something was wrong and that the songwriting was an outlet. Tessa thought her brother would be the one to see through her façade. It turned out it was her best friend who she couldn’t fool. Tessa dropped her eyes and fiddled with a key on the head of her Quantum Modulus, grateful that Sindy didn’t press the issue or ask any questions.
Mason’s absence in their conversation about music seemed to go unnoticed by Lucas and Sindy, but it couldn’t be clearer to Tessa that he was purposely avoiding her. He obviously felt as awkward as she did.
Lucas must have read her thoughts, because he turned his head toward the front of the bus then looked back at her. “Everything OK between you and Mason now?”
Tessa tried to keep her expression blank as she nodded. Afraid her voice would crack or waver, she didn’t dare speak a reply which resulted in a conspicuous moment of silence.
“Um,” Sindy tugged on Lucas’ arm, but her eyes remained locked on Tessa. “Let’s let her finish the song. I’m excited to hear it when it’s done.”
Alone in her bunk, with her head down, Tessa blocked out the voices coming from the front of the bus. She ignored Mason’s contagious laugh, and focused on putting together a song. Writing music had always been easy, but she’d never written when her head was in a bad place, and the song came together with a rough and gritty undertone that was unlike anything she’d ever created. It was very different and very good.
Tired of hiding and eager to share the song, she emerged from her bunk ready to meet Mason head on. Chin held high, she gripped her bass in one hand, clutched her notebook in the other, and marched proudly through the bus.
