Page 67 of Bulletproof
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Since the panic attack two days ago, Travis hadn’t talked much to his bandmates. They had all apologized, feeling guilty that they triggered the anxiety attack, and things seemed to be on simmer. They’d been more civil to him, and to one another, which was a good thing, but Travis wasdone. He only wanted to finish writing the lyrics in order to fulfill his obligation to the label and perform. As far as he was concerned, his band was a business. Nothing more.
Derek turned out to be his rock. The man somehow always diffused a hurricane into a windstorm, and Travis would be forever grateful that Derek had talked him off a ledge the other day when he couldn’t do morethan sit in a ball and sob on the bathroom floor in his dressing room. Once Derek had shown up, the panic dissipated, and Travis knew he needed to regain his composure, but he couldn’t have done it without Derek. Since then, Derek had been his shadow.
At Derek’s insistence, Travis stayed in Derek’s suite for the last few nights. Just like he’d done after he’d taken too many sleepingpills in Salt Lake City. Derek had also wanted Travis to ride with Bulletproof between cities, but Travis wouldn’t do it, and stood his ground. He wasn’t running away or bailing on his band. After everything that had happened, he still wanted them to act like a band. He took his commitment seriously.
Both busses pulled into San Antonio a few hours earlier, and other than showing upfor sound check, Derek hadn’t left Travis’ side. They sat together on the long couch in Reckless’ dressing room while waiting for the start of the show. Grateful for the support of his lover, Travis slipped his hand inside Derek’s. “Are you sure you’re not supposed to be doing something else right now? You don’t need to babysit me.” He hoped he didn’t sound ungrateful. He just wasn’t used to havingsomeone tend to him. Without a hand to guide him, he’d always taken care of himself.
“I’m not babysitting you.” Derek nudged Travis playfully with his elbow. “I’m just spending time with my man before his set.”
Travis smiled at the way Derek claimed ownership of him. He had no idea what he’d do without Derek, especially these last few days, and he wondered what wouldhappen once the tour was over.
“Hey, bruh. What are you doin’ here?” Derek said, looking up.
Brandon Bullet, in all his infinite, legendary rock star glory, stood just inside Reckless’ dressing room. Travis caught the star-struck faces of his bandmates, enamored at the presence of Bulletproof’s mega-famous singer visiting their dressing room. They used to get the sameexcited look in their eyes when Derek first started coming around. They’d gotten used to him, but never really had much interaction with Brandon, who was the rock god of rock gods in this business.
“It’s so cool you dropped by,” Ricky said.
“Can I get you a beer or something?” Troy asked.
“No thanks. I’m here to see Travis.”
Travis stilled, momentarilycaught off guard, and worried about what Brandon wanted. He had no idea what prompted the visit. It could be anything from wishing him luck to complaining that he was monopolizing Derek’s time before Bulletproof’s show.
Derek bumped fists with Brandon. “What do you want to see Travis about? Is he in trouble?” Derek asked, with a wink.
Brandon pulled up a chair, flippedit around and straddled it. “I thought he could keep me company while I do my vocal exercises.”
Derek fell back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling with a God-help-me pleading look in his eyes. “You and those fucking vocal exercises.”
Brandon dismissed Derek’s remark with a wave of his hand and a friendly smirk.
Honored and a little confused why someonewith as much knowhow as Brandon Bullet would want to warm up with him, Travis furrowed his brow. “Me?”
“Yeah. You’re a singer. You need to warm up your voice. I remember you saying you didn’t have a preshow ritual. I thought you could go over my exercises with me.” He kicked Derek’s boot. “These guys are no fucking help.”
Travis watched the silent exchange between Derekand Brandon. The ribbing and the banter never got old, no matter how much they provoked one another.
“So, how about it?”
“Why do you want to vocalize with me?” Travis asked, still unsure why Brandon was here. “I don’t scream.”
“I’m just trying to pass on a little of my experience.” Brandon straightened his shoulders, his chest now fuller than it was a fewseconds ago. “I want to give you a hand. A tool that’ll help you develop your vocal cords. It’s a lot of stress on your throat singing night after night.”
Derek leaned forward, his long hair shrouding his face. “Are you just using that as an excuse to get my guy alone?”
Travis’ heart ballooned. He loved hearing Derek call him his guy. It still sounded foreign. He’d neverbeen anyone’s guy before. The elation quickly deflated when he realized that he was too fucked up to be anyone’s guy, especially Derek’s. With a heart of gold as big as the ocean, Derek didn’t deserve someone as twisted as Travis. The man constantly helped him through one meltdown after another. Derek was exactly what Travis needed, emotionally and professionally. Travis, on the other hand, didthe exact opposite for Derek. He was a burden at times, and he hated that he saddled Derek with his baggage.
“I got my own guy,” Brandon said to Derek. “And if I so much as look at another man, he’ll crush my nuts in the palm of his hand.”
Derek raised an eyebrow. “That sounds like something you might enjoy.”
Brandon contemplated the idea, running his handalong his scruffy jaw. “Maybe. But there’s a fine line between it-hurts-so-good and castration.”
“Afraid you’re gonna lose that deep baritone, huh?” Derek teased.
“That’s one of three things I’m afraid of losing.”
