Page 48 of Bulletproof
Jeremy and Alan stepped to the mic together.“They got a sound that makes your blood pump,” Jeremy began. “And drive that proves they got what it takes,” Alan finished.
The audience clapped again, and now it was Derek’s turn to say something. He’d be the one presenting the gold record to Reckless. He had so much to fucking say. “I see how hard you guys work. I know the struggle. I know how rough it is to be on the road.” Helooked straight at Travis as he spoke, and felt his lover’s energy travel through the air and land in his heart. The connection they shared held them together like an invisible tie. “I understand how much pressure you’re under. But you handle it like a champ. You kick ass out there. And I’m proud – we’re proud – to share the stage with you and present you with this gold record. Congrats. You’ve earnedit, as well as your place on tour supporting Bulletproof.”
Four men walked out from the side of the stage, each holding a gold disc in a glass frame. Ricky, Mark, and Troy had excited smiles on their faces, their eyes glued to the award, but not Travis. Travis had a small curl to the corners of his lips, and he gazed at Derek as if no one else was in the room. He slowly walked towardDerek, arms stretched wide, and kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Thank you,” he said, as he hugged Derek. “I . . . You’re. . . Thank you. Just, thank you.”
Derek wasn’t really listening to the small semi-circle of music execs that surrounded him and his bandmates. He shook their hands and noddedhis head, thanked them, but he wasn’t really looking them in the eye. His gaze traveled over their shoulders, across the room, behind him. He was looking for the gorgeous lead singer of Reckless, because he was going home with Travis tonight.
A pause in the conversation gave him the opportunity to break away, with the excuse that he needed to refresh his drink. He dropped his emptyglass on a nearby table and weaved through the crowd searching for Travis. He finally saw a streak of blond hair, almost hidden behind a tall potted plant. Derek slowed, his legs suddenly heavy as if stuck in quicksand. Travis was speaking to Ashley, their mouths close together. Derek’s eyes dropped to their clasped hands, and he stopped moving. He watched Ashley reach up and touch Travis’ cheek,which made Travis smile all the way up to his eyes. A bashful hue passed over Travis’ face, humbled at whatever Ashley had said to him.
Derek felt sucker punched. He wanted to hurl. His world collapsed. He wanted to disappear. End this fucking misery. He wanted to bolt, but his feet and eyes were riveted. A pain shot through his heart as he watched Travis smooth Ashley’s hair back,bend his head down and kiss her on the lips.
And then it was over. That was it. Just a small peck. She took his hand again, held it as she took a few steps backward, until distance pulled their fingers apart. She gave him a little wave and a cute smile as she kept walking further away from Travis. She glanced back over her shoulder one last time, and then she disappeared. She wasgone.
Travis turned away and started through the crowded room. As soon as he saw Derek, he smiled and quickened his pace. “Hey. I was just coming to find you.”
The hug that Derek received made his world spin. “You were looking for me?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Why? Are you kidding? You gave me that awesome speech.” Travis’ eyes dropped toDerek’s waist. “You’re wearing that fucking kilt. Do you know how sexy that is? And I know you’re not wearing a fucking damn thing underneath it.” He put his lips to Derek’s ear. “I can’t wait to rip it off of you.”
“What about Ashley?”
Amusement crept into Travis’ face. “You’re really bothered by her, aren’t you?”
Unable to form a coherent response, Derekstumbled over an answer. The idea of Travis with that girl made his brain go haywire.
“You don’t have to worry, Derek. Sometimes you just need to move on. You know? Sometimes someone comes along and makes you realize that you can’t move forward until you let go of the past.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“We decided it was time to make a clean break. She’sbeen hooking up with our sound guy off and on for a year. It’s no secret. We realized we were just holding each other back. So, that’s it. It’s time we moved forward with our lives. I think we’ll always be friends, but that’s all. Nothing more. She’s really the only friend I had. Before you.”
“Really? You don’t want to see her anymore?”
Travis cupped Derek’s face in thepalms of his hands, leaned closer and shook his head. “All I want is you.”
Derek took a deep breath and held it for a second. He won. Not that it was a competition, but Ashley left, and Travis was here. With him. He lowered his eyes and crinkled the fabric of his kilt in his hand. He smiled so wide his cheeks hurt. Damn, he loved this kilt. It worked. Every. Fucking. Time.
Lying in bed together, Travis had the most adorable dreamy smile on his face.
“What’s going on?” Derek asked, sharing the contagious grin.
Color warmed Travis’ cheeks. “I . . . I don’t know. I’m still processing everything. You make me feel so wanted and so cared for. I’m not usedto genuine affection and straightforward honesty. I trust you. You make me feel safe. I can be myself with you. And I’ve never had that with anyone.”
“Back atcha, Fontana. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before either. I’ve never felt needed. I never worried about someone before. I constantly think about you. You invade my brain. Even when I’m with you, I’m thinking aboutyou. When you’re not with me, I wonder if you’re hurting or anxious. Or just need someone to talk to. It drives me crazy when you don’t text me back or answer your phone because I’m afraid something’s wrong.”
Travis shifted to his elbow so he could face Derek. “You worry about me?”
The surprise in Travis’ voice made Derek’s heart ache. Had this kind, sensitive man reallybeen utterly alone his entire life without someone to nurture him? The thought made Derek sick, and angry that Travis had been robbed of the simple things a child needed while growing up – love, attention, and compassion. He wanted to do everything he could to make up for some of that loss. Running a soothing hand over Travis’ cheek, he lowered his voice to a soft whisper. “Of course I worry,Trav.” Derek let out a deep sigh. These feelings were still new for him, and he was unsure how to explain them, but he knew he needed to try. “I constantly wonder if you’re OK. It eats me up inside. I want to make things better for you. Easier. You deserve so much better.”
Travis glanced down at the sheet. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m bulletproof, remember?”
It was just like Travis to downplay his need for emotional support. The guy had a tremendous amount of self-pride and the will of a warrior.
“You really think about me when I’m not with you?” Travis asked, after a moment.
