Page 39 of Bulletproof
“No. He’s got deep-seated issues. His head’s in a bad place a lot of the time. He hides it. And . . .” Derek rolled his hands, trying to encourage the words he couldn’t seem to find to leave his mouth. Maybe he couldn’t find them because there weren’tany that needed to be said. Excuses were just that – excuses. “You’re right. I don’t care that he’s got issues. He likes to talk to me. He said he never opened up to anyone before. It made me feel really good to know that.” His erratic heart rate stabilized a little as hope made the corners of his mouth curl. “I like that I help him deal with shit. I make him happy. And he makes me happy. Reallyhappy.”
Brandon had a big dopey smile on his face. He put his arm around Derek and squeezed a hug onto Derek’s shoulder, which felt more like a headlock. “I’m so happy for you, bruh.”
Travis sat on the edge of his bed, and then paced around his room as he tried to make sense out ofDerek’s odd behavior. He didn’t know if Derek was pissed off, shocked at Ashley’s presence, or felt in the way. He regretted not going after Derek when he bolted from the party a few minutes ago, but Derek seemed like he wanted out of there in the worst way. And then Ashley had dragged him back to the room before he had a chance to fully process Derek’s reaction.
The door to the bathroomopened and Ashley sauntered out wearing fishnet stockings, five-inch heels, and a lace teddy. She stopped and placed her hands on her hips. “Why are you still dressed? And why the sad face?”
“I can’t stop thinking about the way Derek took off. I guess I should have told him about you. I feel like . . . like I’m cheating on him or something.” Which was totally ridiculous. They hadno commitments or expectations, and had each made it clear several times. Plus, Ashley wasn’t a steady fixture in Travis’ life anymore.
Ashley pursed her lips to the side and gave Travis a questioning squint. “What exactly is going on with you and him? Are you two, like, a couple?”
“We’re friends.”
“You’re more than just friends, Travis.”
“Iguess we’re . . .” Travis didn’t know what the hell to call it. They weren’t boyfriends, but this wasn’t just a fling. To say they were lovers sounded cliché. Maybe he didn’t need to label what he and Derek shared. “We kinda have a thing.”
She eyed him cautiously. “How serious is thisthing?”
Travis stared at the wall, his open mouth trying to form words that he couldn’tfind. “I don’t know. We’re supposed to have no strings. No commitment. That’s why I don’t know what to make of the way he acted.”
“Like he was jealous?”
He looked her in the eye. “Yeah.”
She stared at him for a moment before her expression softened. She placed her hand on his arm, and her voice turned buttery. “Worry about him later. I haven’t seen you ina long time. Let’s catch up.” She purred against his neck. Her lips were soft and wet on his collarbone, her perfume a floral bouquet that tickled his nostrils. He placed his hand on her slender waist and noted the softness of her flesh, the exact opposite of Derek’s hard muscles. The fullness of her breasts pressed against his chest, all so familiar, yet foreign.
He hadn’t been withanyone besides Derek in a while. He had automatically assumed that Derek had been screwing any one of the many available groupies that flocked around him, but maybe he was wrong. What if Derek wanted more, but didn’t think Travis felt the same way? He covered his face with his hand, hoping to clear the confusion that swam inside his head.
Ashley pulled his hand away. “Stop thinking so much. Just relax.” She kissed him, deeply. Her full mouth against his lips and the softness of her cheek had stirred so much inside him in the past, but now it only brought to his attention the lack of hard razor stubble against his skin.
An image of Derek passed behind Travis’ closed eyes. Once again, he saw the hurt and betrayalon Derek’s face when he introduced Ashley as his “best girl” and he regretted his choice of words. What a fucking idiot. He knew those feelings better than anyone, and he’d be damned before he inflicted that kind of pain on Derek. He pulled away from Ashley abruptly. “I gotta go. I’m sorry.”
She didn’t look surprised. “Derek?”
“Yeah. I gotta make sure he’s OK. He wasupset, and I can’t leave him like that. You understand, right?”
She nodded. “I know you, Travis. You’ve got a big heart. I just don’t want it to get broken.” She looked down at her lingerie, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “I wish you would have told me before I put all this shit on. I feel stupid.”
He pulled her close and left a kiss on her lips. “You’re beautiful.Remind me why it didn’t work out between us?”
She laughed. “Because you were too busy screwing every girl who hung around the band, and I was too busy screwing the roadies.”
He hadn’t been sleeping with those girls, flirting yes, but not sleeping with them. Well, he slept with one, but Ashley never believed it wasn’t all of them. She still didn’t. At first he had protested,but eventually he stopped trying to deny it since it hadn’t really been an issue.
Ashley patted his arm. “Go. I’m gonna see if that ginger sound guy is still around. But don’t forget, I’m here if you want to try again tomorrow night.”
She was so fucking cool. Never jealous. Never deceitful. Always open about her indiscretions. Nothing specific happened to end their relationship.They simply grew apart, although never fully disconnected. She was his only real friend. Before Derek came into his life.
Travis returned to the party, but no one answered the door. The room was quiet, without a sound coming from behind the locked door. Unsure what to do, he walked to Derek’s suite down the hall. Two bodyguards who Travis recognized from the party earlier were stationedoutside Derek’s suite. “Did the hotel shut down the party or something?”
“Yeah. Someone overflowed the toilet and caused a flood. The hotel manager ordered everyone out of the suite. Fire code violation.”
Crazy bastards. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but then hesitated. His stomach clenched. He should have called first, or at least sent a text. What if Derekbrought someone back to the suite after seeing him with Ashley? The thought sickened him. While he was contemplating what to do, Brandy started barking and announced his presence.
“Is someone there, girl?” Cam’s voice came from behind the door before it opened. “Hi, Travis.” He patted the dog on the head. “Good girl, Brandy.” The dog gazed up at Cam with adoring brown eyes, and waggedher tail, then nudged Travis’ hand in greeting.
Travis stroked her glossy black fur and got lost in her soft gaze. She barely knew him, yet she acted as if he was a long lost friend. Even the dog treated him as if he was already a solid fixture in this group of friends.
