Page 45 of Bassist With Benefits
Alan searched Jeremy’s dark eyes. They looked hard and cold, but Alan saw the emotion underneath the mask of indifference. It made his heart ache for so many reasons. “Why are you blowing me off?”
“I’m not blowing you off.” Jeremy’s pinched brow and the gruff tone of his voice conveyed his annoyance. “Felix is waiting for us.”
“Really?” Alan’s sarcasm was heavy. “That’s why you were in such a rush to leave the suite?”
“What do you want from me, Alan?”
The desperation in Jeremy’s voice made Alan’s chest tight. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated? A sigh released the tension in Alan’s brow, and he relaxed his shoulders. “I just want to get on with the tour and move forward. I just want things back the way they were.”
The crease in Jeremy’s brow deepened. “And how—”
A door slammed shut and the large personality of Bulletproof’s happy-go-lucky guitar player filled the hallway. “Let’s rock and roll!” Derek shouted. Without slowing down, he wrapped an arm around Alan and Jeremy and pulled them toward Brandon’s suite.
Derek happily carried on about some guy he had hooked up with last night, eradicating the conversation between Alan and Jeremy. It made Alan wonder what Jeremy had done after the show last night. Alan had slipped into the bedroom, alone – which is probably the way he’d be spending most of his nights from now on – in order to avoid an explosive conversation with a man who fit into his life so perfectly. He didn’t have to be alone, he realized. He could either fully commit to Jeremy, which is what he really wanted to do most, or break it off altogether. He knew he didn’t want the latter – at all – but he needed to find out what Jeremy really wanted.
Jeremy had been the one who said he wanted a break, and then took off without discussion. Since then, his behavior had been standoffish, which meant that he was either just pissed off and making a point, or that he really did want to break up for a while – or for good. A sad frown passed across Alan’s lips, and he felt like all of his blood had just pooled at his feet.
The door to Brandon’s suite opened and Felix stuck his head out. “Keep it down, Derek,” he scolded in a hushed voice, while looking both ways down the hall. “Do you want every groupie on the floor to rush out of their room and tackle you?”
Derek cupped his hands around his mouth and tilted his head up to the ceiling. “Attention shoppers! Bulletproof is walking down the hall!”
“Get in here.” Felix grabbed Derek by the wrist and pulled him into the suite, which left an awkward pause while both Alan and Jeremy waited for the other to pass through the doorway first. They didn’t make eye contact for more than a second before Jeremy quickly dropped his gaze, but not before Alan saw the longing reflected in his eyes.
“Go ahead.” Jeremy extended his arm toward the open door, his voice low and sheepish.
Alan proceeded into the suite, watching Jeremy and hoping they would share another gaze, but Jeremy’s lids were lowered to the floor. Alan’s heart sank deeper into his stomach. Screwing around most of his life left him without much insight on relationships. Jeremy never had a steady boyfriend either. They were both clueless. Wait. Boyfriend? They were boyfriends now? Best friends – yeah. Lovers – yeah. Well, up until 36 hours ago they were lovers. But boyfriends? Alan realized he had been standing in place staring at Jeremy when Felix’s voice caught his attention.
“Grab a cup of coffee and Danish, if you like, and have a seat at the table. We have a lot to talk about. I want to show you prelims on the success of the tour and where we stand on the budget.”
Derek rubbed his palms together with a greedy smile. “I love these kinds of meetings, where you tell us how much money we’re making instead of how much we fucked up.”
Felix nodded. “Yes, I, as well.” He waved everyone over to the table, since no one was really moving in that direction.
Alan’s gaze remained fixated on Jeremy, begging for some kind of interaction or a little God damn eye contact, but Jeremy headed to the table without so much as a glance in anyone’s direction. His hair was messy, his eyes hooded, and his face a blank mask.
Felix inspected Jeremy’s disheveled appearance. “Nice of you to dress for the occasion, Jeremy.”
“Don’t mention it,” Jeremy grumbled miserably.
Felix stood at the head of the table, laptop in hand. Brandon and Jeremy sat side by side, with Derek across from them, leaving the seat next to Derek open for Alan to settle into. The chair at the opposite head of the table was always empty because no one wanted to get directly eyeballed by Felix. Cam sometimes occupied that taboo seat, because, well, the guy was an accountant by trade and loved the numbers game. Cam was out on a run with the dog, though.
These meetings were usually all just bullshit, and none of them cared to hear the intricate financial details on a monthly basis. It was Felix who insisted on the meetings in order to maintain transparency about where the money went. There was an official accounting by a company with a string of last names, but Felix didn’t want them to have any surprises about the amount of incidentals that were racked up during the tour. No one could ever accuse Felix Osbourne of unscrupulous behavior, which was a rarity in representation.
Those God damn Power Point charts were just a bunch of pictures of Technicolor beach balls as far as Alan was concerned. As long as there was more money coming in – a lot more – than going out, he didn’t give a shit. It was the same with the rest of them, and everyone drifted off during Felix’s analytical breakdown.
Brandon concentrated on his mug while he sipped his fancy herbal tea, and Derek gorged on his third chocolate croissant as if he hadn’t just eaten two full plates of food back in their suite. Alan and Jeremy held a deadlock stare that may as well have had chat bubbles above their heads. The nonverbal exchange proved that when two people knew each other as well as they did, words were unnecessary.
Jeremy’s brown eyes, usually tinged with shades of gold, were hard and dark. They were intense, fueled with lust, yet charged by the anger and frustration that simmered just below the surface. His heated stare taunted Alan. It said,Everyone’s here. If you care about me, tell them we’re together.
Alan had to admit it was the perfect opportunity, but he had no idea what to say. Their relationship – if what they shared could be called a relationship – wasn’t defined. And that was half the problem. The pressure from Jeremy was starting to annoy Alan, and he glared back with a don’t-push-me stare.
Jeremy’s lip snarled in response and his eyes narrowed. Alan imagined a word bubble above Jeremy’s head with the word “Pussy!” scribbled inside.
The room was suddenly quiet and Alan realized that everyone was watching the heated staring contest between him and Jeremy.
“What’s this?” Felix looked at Alan and then at Jeremy. “You’re mad at each other again? One week you’re inseparable, and the next week you can’t even sit at the same table.” Felix threw his hands up. “Whatever is going on, knock it off. I don’t have time for this drama. We’re done here.” He slapped his laptop closed. “We’re slightly over budget, but it’s nothing to concern yourself with. The bus is leaving in an hour. I’ll be back in 45 minutes.” Then he walked out of the suite.
Brandon chuckled. “Look who’s complaining about drama – the drama king himself.”
