Page 53 of Bassist With Benefits
A laugh slipped from Jeremy’s throat. “It must be the drugs. Kiss me again, before I say something even more stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid.” The tender kiss they shared was nothing like before. It consummated their love. It solidified the commitment they had for one another. No longer would their relationship be behind closed doors. “I want to tell the guys about us.”
“Didn’t you?”
“No. They found out when I kissed you just now.” Guilt about so many things plagued Alan, but the secrecy of their relationship was what bothered him the most. “I’m sorry I didn’t want them to know. I was afraid they would be weird about it. And I didn’t know where this thing between us was going. I was so freaked out about it at first. When you gave me the king of all blowjobs, it stirred something inside of me that I didn’t want to think about.”
“Why? Why didn’t you want to think about it?” Jeremy deflated a little and concern crossed his brow. “Was the idea of us being anything but friends repulsive?”
“No! It scared me because I couldn’t stop thinking about that blowjob. All I kept thinking about was your mouth on my body and how fucking incredible it felt. I started to wonder what it would be like to kiss you. And my inner voice kept screaming, this is Jeremy! My best friend! Am I fucking crazy?”
“You weren’t crazy, Alan. I’ve been thinking about you like that for as long as I can remember.”
“Really? That long?” Alan had no idea that Jeremy’s feelings for him went beyond the last few weeks. Thinking back on their years of friendship suddenly filled Alan with clarity. It made perfect sense. The constant touching. Getting in each other’s personal space. The overly-close bond. How could he not have known? “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Because I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. I never got a sexual vibe from you, so I was afraid to put it out there. Do you have any idea how many times I had to stop myself from touching you when we were in a bed full of guys, all panting and moaning and grinding against one another? When the lights were off that night, I didn’t know it was you, but I was imagining it was. I always did. I would hear your breathing grow heavier and those tiny little grunts you make. It would kill me that someone else was making you feel that way, so I just started to pretend that it was me making you moan. I would pretend the guys I was with were you. I would imagine it was me and you fucking.”
A laugh fell from Alan’s mouth. “You’re just killing me with the romance talk today.”
Jeremy smiled down at the sheet. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not saying this right. I sound like an asshole. But I really do love you.” His voice was hoarse and raspy from talking so much.
Alan poured a small cup of water and brought it to his lover’s lips to ease the burn in his throat. He knew he should get the nurse to bring in some tea, but he wanted a few more minutes alone together.
Jeremy took the cup and gulped down its contents. “Damn that tastes good.” He cleared his throat, and it turned into a series of harsh coughs. He cringed, holding his chest.
Alan panicked. “I’ll call the nurse.”
“No,” Jeremy croaked. “I just drank too fast.” He swallowed and rubbed his throat. “Sit with me for a minute.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He nudged his way onto the edge of the bed alongside Jeremy, careful not to cause too much movement, and draped an arm around the man he loved. “I’m staying right here.”
Jeremy leaned his head to the side so his cheek rested on Alan’s bicep. His breathing grew deep and steady, as if he had fallen asleep.
Alan listened, quietly reflecting on how much he cared about his best friend and how much their lives had changed. He tightened his arm around Jeremy and pulled him a little closer. He couldn’t see Jeremy’s face from that angle because strands of Jeremy’s long hair, which had been tied into a loose ponytail, hung across his cheek. Alan placed a tender kiss on top of Jeremy’s head, content in the lazy embrace, and brushed the loose strands of hair behind Jeremy’s ear.
There was a knock, then the door opened and a nurse entered. While she asked Jeremy a bunch of questions about pain and if he was hungry, Alan watched his friends enter the room. They moved slowly, one at a time, their eyes shifting from Alan to Jeremy and then among each other. They hadn’t a clue that Alan and Jeremy had been intimate for the last month, and it showed on their shocked faces. Although Alan had confessed the infamous blowjob to Cam, he never let on that they were in a relationship, and it appeared that Cam had never leaked that tidbit to anyone nor suspected anything had come of it.
The nurse left after writing something in Jeremy’s chart, leaving Alan and Jeremy facing Cam, Derek and Brandon’s inquisitive faces.
Alan nodded at them to confirm what they seemed to be having a hard time comprehending. “Yep. We’ve been screwing around behind your back.” He regretted his choice of words. “It’s more than that. It’s serious.” He pulled Jeremy a little closer. “I’m in love with this big dork.”
“Dork?” Jeremy glowed with happiness. His eyes were dancing and his smile was as bright as the sun. “This dork saved your life.”
“I know.” Alan humbled, and warmth spread across his chest. “Thank you. I mean it. If it wasn’t for you, I probably would be dead right now. Security was useless.”
“Did they at least get the guy?”
“Yes. The police arrested him but it was—”
“Brandy!” Jeremy exclaimed so loud his voice cracked. His head snapped toward Cam and a sad doe-eyed frown worried his forehead. “What happened to Brandy? Oh my God! Is she OK? The last thing I remember is another gunshot. She yelped. And you were yelling.” He let his head fall back against the pillow and closed his eyes. “Please tell me that nothing happened to Brandy.”
Cam pressed his lips together, clearly still upset. “She’s fine. She just broke—”
“Her leg?” Jeremy’s head popped up. “She broke her leg? Oh, the poor girl!”
“No. Her toenail.”
Derek burst out laughing. “The dog only broke her fucking nail, Cam. And she’s a hero. You should be happy.”
