Page 82 of Puck You Very Much
“Whatever. If Quinn played for the other team, and you needed to win really bad, what would you do?”
“If he played for the other team, he should look the fuck out, unless he wants to get run over.”
“Seriously?”
“Of course I’m being serious. Why would you even ask if you don’t want to know the answer?”
“But he’s so small and fragile and you’re so big and strong.”
“Hypothetical, remember?”
“Dammit to hell!”
God, I knew I was in trouble when even Levi Dunn could gain a leg up on me in a debate.
“I know exactly what I would do,” he said. “If Quinn were on the other team, I would knock him into the next zip code.”
He drove his fist into his palm and made an explosion sound with his mouth. You know, like he was a kid destroying his plastic toy soldiers with a play nuclear bomb.
“But I thought you loved him,” I said.
“I do. You’ve got to put feelings aside when you’re on the ice, though. It’s not personal. It’s just hockey.
At that point, I finally learned better than to ask questions. Levi Dunn would always be Levi Dunn. In a weird way, I didn’t doubt that Levi did love Quinn. I just couldn’t believe he could put hockey ahead of the love of his life without thinking twice.
I couldn’t do that to Zane. Some things were bigger than hockey. Not many, but some, and I wanted to think Zane Hirst was the exception.
“What’s with all the questions?” Levi asked. “Are they going to start letting the girl’s hockey teams play the guy’s teams? If they are, I don’t know if I could body check a girl into the boards like I would a guy. I know I can get rough—merciless even—but I’ve got my limits.”
“I’m glad you know where to draw the line.”
Levi smiled but it didn’t fill me with the confidence you would expect. It meant that, in the same position, he would have no problem playing rough with someone he loved. No one said anything about intentionally inflicting injuries, but that didn’t matter. I had no doubt Levi would be willing to go there, too. Who knows what he would’ve done to Zane if I hadn’t intervened.
My teammate asked no more questions, thank God for small favors. I knew that this problem would only grow bigger, not smaller. Sooner or later, the truth would come out.
That was about the only thing I felt sure of.
33
ZANE
“When are we going to tell everyone who we really are?” Jakob asked. “I mean, how much longer do we have to keep everything secret?”
I didn’t answer right away. I wanted time to cook up a good response. Still, Jakob regarded me not impatiently but like he somehow wanted an answer yesterday. Our situation had grown complicated enough as it was without forcing things to happen before they were ready.
“I don’t know.”
When I said that, I really meant to say that I didn’t know if we wouldeverbe able to do it. As in, we would keep our relationship a dirty secret forevermore. As you can imagine, that wouldn’t have gone over so well. If I’d known our relationship would grow to be so complicated, I wouldn’t have…
Wouldn’t have what?I wondered. I hated thinking that I wouldn’t have engaged in any kind of relationship with Jakob Martin. Still, I wanted to believe I had no regrets about him.
If I hadn’t gone all-in, I wouldn’t have full claim to a guy I was crazy about. I wouldn’t have enjoyed the amount ofsteaming hot sex that’d come with it. More than that, I wouldn’t have fallen in love.
Love. That sounded just right. The word could glide off the tongue and make beautiful music in my ears. I was in love with Jakob Martin. I didn’t want to hide it. Shit, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I wanted the whole world to know.
But I understood our limitations.
It wasn’t just about being guys. It was about the intense rivalry.
