Page 105 of Puck You Very Much
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ZANE
Iknew I’d royally fucked up the moment I made contact with Jakob. Oh yeah, I’d felt full of piss and vinegar leading up to that moment. Hell, I’d felt fired up throughout the entire game. I can’t apologize for that. This was hockey we were talking about; the sport I love. You either play the game with toughness and intensity or you don’t lace up your skates.
Something about the way I hit him made me realize that something had gone seriously wrong. I didn’t actually see his head snap back, but something in my gut told me it’d happened. The groan that exploded out of his mouth on impact told more of the story.
Yes, I wanted to hurt him. I won’t bullshit you about that. Part of me wanted to inflict some pain on my ex, but I didn’t mean to cause something permanent.
Again, my instincts kicked in, telling me that something was wrong even before he hit the boards and then collapsed onto the ice.
And went perfectly still.
I immediately called over to the bench for help, but assistance wasn’t what came initially. First, the benches cleared.Every Lion and Riptide rushed onto the ice, guns ablazin’. The Lions came straight for me to defend their player. The Riptides chased closely behind to ensure they didn’t tear my head off.
What am I talking about? The Riptides would’ve seen no moral problem with the shot I’d put on Jakob. Remember, these guys had no problems with a bounty program. I can’t say I felt proud, though. At first, I didn’t have time to worry about what I thought one way or another, because I was too busy trying to defend myself.
Levi Dunn grabbed my jersey and all but slammed me onto the ice. Then I saw that monster hover above, ready to crash down on me. I made anoof!sound when he landed square on my chest. Let’s face it, the guy weighed two-thirty or two-forty. He might as well have dropped a ton of bricks onto me. Thank God a pair of officials had arrived to pull him off before he could drive a fist through my mouth.
I stared up at the lights as they dragged the Lions enforcer away, knowing I’d basically escaped getting killed. It would’ve been no sucker punch like the one Jakob had given me at the Colter Bay Grill. The guy was tough as a two-dollar steak and he wanted revenge for his teammate.
Finally, I got up and found the initial commotion settled. Every player now surrounded Jakob, who was still laid out on the ice. The crowd had fallen silent.
I knew exactly what that meant.
Players didn’t get seriously injured in every single game, but the threat always existed, and I’d seen it happen a time or two. I’d never been responsible for a serious injury before but had heard about the feeling from others. The seconds turn into minutes, and minutes felt like hours. That was goddamn right. Well, almost. My case felt far worse thanks to our history.
Oh yeah, I know I said a ton of shit up until now. I’d talked really big. Sometimes you’ve got to do things like that to primeyourself for action. And, sure, I wanted to win. Everyone on the ice wanted to win. We all had hopes and dreams and only one way to achieve them. You sure as hell don’t go out there to lose.
Still, I worried whether the price of winning would be worth it. The longer Jakob lay motionless on the ice, the more convinced I felt that it wasn’t.
Oh my God, I hope he isn’t seriously hurt.
He could have a concussion. Yeah, I’ve said that people don’t get seriously hurt in every game, yet concussions are common in sports. You can’t take them lightly, though. I’ve survived a few raps to the head without suffering a bona fide concussion, but a few opposing players have made me see stars. None of them played for the Lions, so you know. Bigger and tougher teams were responsible for that.
And then every Lions player took a knee around Jakob. I rushed over to get a look at my ex-boyfriend but couldn’t see him past all the bodies.
Then paramedics carted a stretcher onto the ice. My eyes fell shut. As if everything else hadn’t offered a pretty clear indication ofsomethingwrong, I had to stand there and watch paramedics work on Jakob.
I fell to one knee and bowed my head. I’ve never been a praying person, and wouldn’t start now, but positive vibes helped, didn’t they? Like, if I sent Jakob all my positive energy, everything would turn out okay?
In the arena’s deathly silence, I could hear the paramedics talking but couldn’t make out the words. I wanted to think they were talking to Jakob, and he was responding. Or maybe they were talking about how Jakob would be okay, but I understood that was wishful thinking. After all, I’d known that something had gone terribly wrong the moment I’d struck him.
Suddenly, the game meant nothing to me. I forgot that I was on the ice with a stick in my hand, much less surrounded by afew thousand people. I had wanted to win… Oh God, I couldn’t think about that anymore. Even if the Riptides came out of this game victorious, I would still feel like I’d lost.
The paramedics lifted the stretcher to full height and carted my boyfriend—no, sorry, myex-boyfriend off the ice. The crowd cheered and I looked for a thumbs up.
None came.
I skated up to the paramedics to get a look at Jakob, wanting more than anything to take his hand and assure him everything would be all right. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for the shot I’d delivered. I wanted him to know that the game didn’t mean shit to me now.
I couldn’t see Jakob over the paramedics who whisked him off to the awaiting ambulance.
You’d think my teammates would come and pat my shoulder or offer some comforting words. They should’ve assured me that what happened wasn’t my fault (even though it so totally was). They didn’t do any of that. They just let me stand there, feeling like a total shithead for what I’d done.
Once play was ready to resume, an official hooked my arm and led me to the penalty box, where I served another two minutes for roughing. God, I was starting to feel right at home in that little space.
Despite the five-on-four, Jax managed to score another goal on the Larkin Lions. I would love to say he’d done it because Ryan Detenbeck was the worst goalie in college hockey, but I knew that wasn’t true. He was a great goalie or else the Lions wouldn’t have reached the championship game.
