Page 90 of Puck You Very Much
Jakob’s eyes almost bulged right out of the sockets.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second,” he said. “Time out. When theRiptideswin?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“I know you were dropped on your head when you were young and all, but this is ridiculous. What in the name of Wayne Motherfucking Gretzky would make you think you’ve got a prayer?”
“History m’boy.”
“M’boy? Give me a fucking break. And history? Dude, the Lions have beaten the Riptides more times than you guys have beaten us in the time both of us have been on the rosters.”
“I don’t give a shit. We’ll always beat you guys when it counts the most.”
I can’t lie. I had no idea what the fuck I was talking about there. My competitive nature demanded I say and do whatever necessary in order to stay ahead. I meant to win this argument and didn’t care that there was no referee to raise my hand.
“That’s the problem with you and the primates you call teammates,” he said. “You’re too big for your britches.”
“We’re too big for our—what?”
“Your britches, you dope. It means you’ve got really swelled heads, and I definitely don’t mean the ones in your pants.”
I realized I’d already balled my hands into fists, probably after that dope quip. Now, I’d probably made crescent-shaped wound in my palms with my fingernails.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to me that way, you know that?” I stated.
He half-smiled, which told me he’d been at least partly kidding. My boyfriend was nothing if not a smartass. But this seemed far too serious to screw around.
“Look, you know how much this means to me, don’t you?” he asked.
“Of course I do. I’m a hockey player, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“I know, but…”
I wouldn’t get anywhere by basically telling him that my same hopes and dreams were more important than his. And not basically either. Iwouldbe presenting them as bigger.
I could predict Jakob’s response. He would say something stupid, maybe worse. Instead of bracing for it, I decided to mow right over him.
“You do realize that, when theLionswin it all, I’ll expect you to kiss my ring.” He displayed his hand as if already bedecked in jewels.
“I willnotkiss your ring.”
“It’d beat kissing my ass, wouldn’t it?”
He rolled over half-way, exposing his backside, and brought a hand down on one ass cheek.
I nearly choked on the words that threatened to lunge out of my mouth and squeezed my fist. Jakob didn’t take me seriously and never would, and his smart mouth landed him on my last nerve.
“I guess you think you’re funny, huh?” I asked.
“I’m fucking hilarious.”
“You won’t be laughing when the Remington Riptides are hoisting the trophy and dumping champagne over each other.”
He snorted like I’d said something funny.
I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath. Part of me wanted to keep arguing with him, but I wouldn’t. That would be so fucking desperate and totally beneath me. Besides, it would be so much more moving when my teammates and I kicked the hell out of the Lions.
Jakob might not have taken me seriously at his place, but he would when we met for all the marbles.
