Page 87 of Puck You Very Much
“I still know everything we need to know about winning,” he said. “That’s important with all the newer guys on this team.”
“Yeah, what’s it like to have to focus every last bit of energy on one game because it’s the biggest moment of your life?”
“Not gonna lie, it’s hectic as fuck. You’re gonna want to come up for air at some point, and you won’t be able to, because you’re too fucking tuned in.”
“That demanding, huh?”
“Fucking-A it is. But it’s not all bad. You’re really only looking at a week of really intense preparation and then the game itself. It’s not the Super Bowl.”
“It is to me.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
“But how do you even get through such a big game?”
“Don’t know. I was too busy throwing up before face off to overanalyze anything.”
“Be serious, would you?”
“Hey, Iambeing serious.”
“I’m sorry; I think my nerves are getting the best of me.”
At least that was partly true. Part of me wanted to just tell Levi what my problem was and not beat around the bush, so I wouldn’t have to be the prisoner of a lie anymore. But I couldn’t take that chance. Even Levi Dunn, who could easily understand my love for another man, would draw the line at going head-over-heels with the enemy.
“The best thing you can do is clear all the bullshit from your mind,” he said.
“Uh, how do you do that?”
A ginormous laugh bellowed out of him. I braced myself for another too-hard back clap that thankfully didn’t come.
“It’s easy. You just let your mind become a total blank.”
When he stared off into space, I understood that he likely had already begun the process of doing just that.
“I dunno, Levi. The mindless approach doesn’t seem to work very well for me.”
“Suit yourself. It works wonders for me.”
I drew a deep breath and then exhaled. I wanted to tell him about the mountain of problems I needed to scale but couldn’t. Zane would stay in my head whether I wanted him there or not. I understood that choices would need to be made despite my best efforts to stave them off.
“Do you ever worry about how the other team will feel?” I asked. “You know, from losing?”
A smile appeared on his face, but he then furrowed his brow.
“Tell me you’re not being serious,” he said.
“Well, yeah… I mean, no, of course not. Wait, I mean?—”
Now that I’d said it, I couldn’t take it back. Why couldn’t I keep my big mouth shut?
“That’s not what I meant exactly,” I said. “I just mean, do you understand how the other team would feel if they wound up on the wrong side of the win-loss column?”
“I don’t need to. Know why? BecauseIknow what it’s like to be on the wrong side of the win-loss column, which is why I’ll do anything and everything to make sure I don’t wind up there again.”
“But—”
“And I totally don’t give a shit about how the Riptides are gonna feel when we hand them the ass-kicking of the century. Matter of fact, I’m looking forward to seeing them crying over on the other bench.”
