Page 106 of Puck You Very Much
He must’ve felt deflated along with the rest of the Larkin Lions. I’m sure I would’ve felt the exact same way if any of the Riptides had suffered an injury like Jakob.
When the refs freed me from the penalty box, I just skated. I can’t call what I was doing playing hockey. When I played thegame properly, I felt fierce and unstoppable. I felt voraciously hungry. Now, my head hung low, my shoulders slumped, and I felt like a total weakling. I had no appetite for anything at all.
I just wanted this game to be over and done with as soon as possible. Problem was, the seconds ticked by at a molasses pace, and I worried I would spend eternity on the ice, not knowing whether Jakob would be okay.
The Riptides were up three-to-two when the final buzzer sounded, and the crowd went wild. That’s what my heart should’ve been doing at that moment. I should’ve held my head along with both arms high in the air. I should’ve joined in the hugs with the rest of the team instead of letting people hug me and hating it.
At that moment, I could’ve cried. Seriously. You don’t know how hard it is for someone like me to admit that. Yes, I could’ve cried, but it would’ve been for all the wrong reasons.
Seeing the trophy presented to us meant nothing. I’d once rehearsed everything I would say if we won the championship. An acceptance speech, if you will. Now I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
You would swear these guys had forgotten that someone had been seriously hurt in the game. Or maybe they’d never given a shit in the first place. If that were true, I wondered if I wanted to be around guys like that.
I didn’t shower after the game. I stripped out of my gear, got dressed, and left without a word.
I wondered if anyone noticed.
44
JAKOB
Zane would do the right thing. I wanted to believe that anyway. I knew what he did wasn’t on purpose and that he didn’t really mean to cause the injury that he had. Knowing my ex-boyfriend, he probably came to his senses the moment I got carted off the ice.
Or the moment he hit me, if I were lucky.
Judging by how things ended for both myself and the Larkin Lions, I had the worst luck on earth.
Let me tell you about how the whole thing went down. The last thing I remember clearly was seeing Zane hurtling towards me. I already mentioned that the whole thing happened in slow motion, like an ugly car crash during the seconds before two vehicles collided. I stand by that description.
The lights went out the moment he hit. Then the lights flickered on and off a ton as I slipped in and out of consciousness. I couldn’t move or even feel much. I heard people hovering over me—the paramedics that would put my neck in a brace, shift me onto a board, and lift me onto a stretcher.
It was scary as fuck, especially in retrospect, and embarrassing in a weird way. After all, a whole crowd saw whathappened. The game was being broadcast. Oh yeah, maybe a national primetime audience wouldn’t see it. This wasn’t the Super Bowl. But you don’t want scores of people witnessing the most hideous accident of your life. It gets better, though.
Part of me wanted to finish the game! Can you believe that? Lying there, mostly unconscious and unable to move, part of me genuinely thought I would get up, dust myself off, and finish the game. That part of me must’ve considered myself invincible. On the other hand, I might’ve been ludicrously stupid.
No, naïve. I wasn’t stupid to think that way, just a little naïve.
Am I gonna die?
The paramedic responded with,Not today.
Isn’t that always the freaking way?
Small comfort, I guess. Loading me into the ambulance crushed any fantasy I might’ve had about getting back up and playing out the championship game, but I wouldn’t realize how bad Zane’s shot had really hurt me until I spoke to the doctor the next morning.
I hadn’t seen any doctor at all in hours. I’d also naively believed that I would be going home by morning but was still in the hospital. Life throws you those curve balls, I guess.
The doctor sounded almost robotic when he told me I’d suffered a concussion. I would need to take significant care of myself for the next couple of weeks. No hockey, like I needed to worry about the game now.
He also told me that I’d fractured a vertebra in my neck. Only minor, he said, but I would need to remain immobile.
That was fine by me. I wasn’t going anywhere.
I asked if I would be going home today. He didn’t miss a beat in telling me that I could go home tomorrow at the soonest, but more likely the next day… or the day after that.
Levi Dunn filled the hospital room door with a giant teddy bear tucked under his arm.
“Look what I got you,” he said. “The hospital gift shop is fucking great, isn’t it?”
