Page 114 of The Auction
April had been right and wrong about the ice cream. It had helped…but only in the moment. As soon as the pint was empty, all I’d felt was sad and sick to my stomach.
“Are you a man or a mouse?” I asked myself.
“Yeoowww!”
“Not you,” I said to AP. “Me. I’m asking myself if I have the courage to do this.”
But, what choice was there?
I opened up the door to the study, saw the mess of everything sprawled around on the floor. Shards of broken glass. A leather blotter. Pens and a desk calendar a year out of date. Fortunately, the computer was kept on the credenza behind the desk, so I hadn’t trashed that.
The letter was on the floor right in front of the desk.
Shit. It hadn’t disappeared.
Avoiding the side where I’d broken the lamp, I approached the envelope like a feral animal. Cautiously reaching out for it, in case it might bite me, I snatched it up and then bolted from the study like it was enemy territory.
The door shut behind me and I lifted Patch off my shoulder as he was safely out of harm’s way now.
Where was I supposed to read this thing?
Don’t make it too important.
If I had mattered to Creed, he would have sat me down and told me he was leaving. Maybe he thought sending me a horse was some kind of nice goodbye, but without any real way to afford it, in some ways it was kind of cruel.
Here, have this horse. You’ll probably have to give it back.
What kind of gift was that?
No, the fact that he left the way he did. No real goodbye. No real conversation about what he’d even been thinking…
I think I have a plan.
If we’d been in a real marriage, he would have told me what that plan was.
“Marriages require communication!” I shouted to a nearly empty house. “I’ve listened to a lot of podcasts about this.”
And it was definitely not our strong suit. For either of us.
Sex had probably been our closest form of communication.
But it hadn’t been enough.
Standing in the middle of the living room, I took a deep breath and opened the envelope.
The first thing that fell out was his bear necklace. I didn’t think about it too hard, just pulled it on over my head and felt the weight of it settle around my neck.
He wrote in a sort of weird capitalized print.
Jules,
You’re going to be pissed I did this in a letter, but I thought it was the simplest way. No fuss or drama. No sad goodbyes.
A few things you need to know. You’ve been added to both bank accounts. Checking and savings. Logins and passwords are below for online access. You can check in with Walt Healy at the bank if you have any questions. You wantto move around two thousand from savings to checking each month for expenses. I’ve accounted for the horse feed in that.
Her name is Peasy, btw.
I’ve also included a letter from my lawyer. You’re probably not going to believe it, but I had this drafted right after we got married. It’s just a simple will that in the event of my death, the property and house are left to you, along with everything else in my name, including my military pension. I make sure my mother’s people get money every so often, so if you would take care of that for me, I’d appreciate it.
