Page 51 of Santa Baby Maybe
“This can’t be happening,” she whispered.
“It appears we’re stuck,” I said, stating the obvious, trying to hide how pleased I was by that fact. “I know it’s not ideal but at least this gives us a chance to talk.”
I thought of all the arguments I wanted to lay out. The mistakes I’d made. The reason I’d made them. A thoughtful, logical progression of our relationship over the last six months that would ultimately culminate in…what, I wasn’t sure, but something other than what we had been these past few weeks.
I was about to lay all of this out when she suddenly blurted.
“I might be pregnant!”
* * *
We were sittingon the floor of the elevator on opposite sides, facing each other. It could have been ten minutes or an hour. I’m not really sure how long the silence lasted while I processed what she said.
Pregnant. Baby. Hers and mine.
I shook my head and tried to formulate some basic questions.
“Are you sure?” Fuck, was that the right first question to ask?
She shook her head. “No. Sophie and I were getting all glammed up for the party. I got my clutch and checked for a mirror and my extra lipstick, and that’s when I saw it.”
She paused, but this was no time to build the suspense. “Saw what?”
“My emergency tampon,” she whispered. She must have seen my confused expression because she continued. “I always keep an emergency tampon in all my purses because you never know. But when I saw the tampon I realized I hadn’t had my period this month, which I should have had. Last week.”
“So you’re late,” I determined.
She nodded.
“And that’s why you think you might be pregnant. You said it was the wrong time of the month,” I told her.
“It was!” she screeched.
“Okay, hey, relax. We can work through this.”
“Whatwe?” she shouted. “We’re not awe. We’re ayouand ame. That’s not a we. That’s not what a baby needs.”
She was clearly panicking and at a visceral level it bothered me. I stood and crossed the elevator to sit next to her. I put my arm around her shoulders and she didn’t fight me too hard. Eventually she rested her head on my chest, and I thought I’d won a small victory.
“First,” I said calmly, “we’re not sure if you’re pregnant. You’re late, and there was a brief moment I was inside you unprotected. So we need to be sure.”
Don’t think about how hot that was. Don’t remember what that felt like. Now is not the time.
“I was so freaked out when I realized, I didn’t know what to do. Now I just want to go get a test and go home.”
“We’ll do that together,” I said.
She sighed and lifted her head, but I wouldn’t let her pull away from me.
“W.B., you can’t. We’re not…I have to do this on my own.”
“Like hell you’re doing this on your own,” I said. “I did this. I was inside you without a condom. This is my responsibility. And even if it weren’t, I wouldn’t let you go through something like this alone. If nothing else, I consider you my friend, Joy.”
“Friend?”
“Yes!” I said loudly. “No. More than that. You’re Joy. You drive me crazy. You make me laugh. I’ve missed you these past few weeks in ways you can’t imagine. Being with you, being inside you, was the most amazing experience of my life.”
Then she hauled off and punched my shoulder. Hard.
