Page 40 of Santa Baby Maybe
9
W.B.
This was yet another mistake. I was standing in the parking garage next to the Kane building as I considered my options. I could ask Sophie or Cheryl to drive her car back to Joy. Or I could just leave it parked for a few days. Given that it was her right ankle that was sprained, it wasn’t like she could drive anyway.
Instead, I stared at her car, a light blue Mini Cooper, because it was both gas efficient and adorable, then down at the keys in my hand that I’d taken from her satchel this morning, and knew I was hopeless to resist the pull I felt. No, I didn’t have to return her car, but I needed to see her.
I needed to know if her ankle felt better, if she’d been restless being stuck in the house, if Jake had bitten her for any reason. I needed to see her lips and her eyes and know that she wasn’t angry with me, or worse, sad because of me.
“Fuck it,” I muttered as I tucked into the car and started it. I ignored the fact that I felt like an idiot in the tiny car. Instead, I plugged in the address I’d already added to her contact information in my phone and pulled up the GPS. Traffic was heavy on a late Monday afternoon, but thirty minutes later I was pulling into her driveway.
I turned off the ignition and gave myself a pep talk.
“Walk inside. Hand her the keys. Make sure she has everything she needs and leave.”
I wasn’t staying to hang out and watch sappy Netflix movies. I wasn’t ordering food for us. I sure as hell wasn’t sleeping next to her, holding her ankle in place while I listened to the sound of her even breathing.
And no matter what, I wasn’t going to kiss her again.
That was going to be the hard part. I was going to see her and she was going to smile and thank me for doing this for her and I was going to want to kiss her.
Or she was going to frown and accuse me of taking her car keys this morning and I was going to want to kiss her.
Or she was going to glare at me and tell me with icy words that she didn’t need my help. That I should leave and never come back, because what I’d done to her this morning was nothing short of a tease. A tease followed by a rejection.
It was just that kissing her had felt so damn good. Lying next to her in her bed had felt so damn peaceful. I’d woken up this morning, and despite being bitten on the toe, all of it had felt good and right. Like I could bring her coffee every morning and deal with her obnoxious cat and kiss her awake.
And sink inside her body.
God!
That fantasy had followed me almost all night. It had taken every ounce of discipline I had to not wrap my arm around her waist, cup her breast, lower her bottoms, and slowly sink my cock deep inside her pussy from behind. Of course while holding her ankle steady. Thoughts of trying to make her come, trying to make myself come, while not jostling her injury had tantalized me all night.
No doubt she would have kicked me out of bed if she knew a quarter of what I’d been thinking. Or would she have?
She’d kissed me back this morning. Of that I had no doubt. She’d been soft and wet and open. When I’d pulled away from her I’d felt her resistance. She hadn’t been ready to let me go, whereas I had felt an overwhelming need to run.
Joy was a trap. She was a free spirit and she actually seemed to like tofu. She made porn Christmas ornaments and she watched ridiculous reality TV. She loved a recalcitrant cat who bit her.
She was the opposite of everything I wanted in a wife. With her, everything would be ruled by feelings. She’d want to be loved, truly and deeply loved, and I didn’t know if I was even capable of it. I’d never been in love before. Hadn’t thought I really needed to be to make a marriage work.
Two sensible, serious people. Rooted in a community, with common goals and an eye toward the future. A similar approach to raising children, which was disciplined and grounded. My kid was going to know where his home was, where his bed was. Every single day was going to bring a sense of consistency that he could rely on. There would be no surprises. Ever.
Joy wouldn’t like that. Joy would want there to be surprises.
I shook my head. I didn’t know why I was even thinking about kids. All of that was very far down the road. Especially given the lack of success I’d had with first dates. Right now the only thing I needed to focus on was handing Joy her keys back and safely retreating out of her orbit of warmth.
Opening the car door, I clutched the keys in my palm, letting the car key dig into my hand as a reminder to stay focused on my mission.
Do not get lost in her eyes. Do not get lost in her eyes.
“Wasn’t sure if you were planning on stealing it or what.”
I glanced up, as I had been walking head down toward her front door.
She was leaning against the jamb of the open doorway, her crutches under her arms but not currently bearing her weight. She was in the same pajama bottoms but a different T-shirt that announced her love of famous glassblower Dale Chihuly. Her hair was down around her shoulders. Her big brown eyes weren’t accusatory. Merely amused.
“You were sitting in the car for so long, I wondered if you were thinking about driving off with it. I mean, it is really cute. Light blue is your color.”
