Page 29 of Don't Leave Me
The kid started wiggling in his arms, and George set him on the floor so he could pretend to stand even though he was holding onto George’s knees. The whole time he was blabbering as if trying to communicate some important fact. Didn’t matter it wasn’t coming out in English.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I was starting to realize he looked like me. His eyes, his nose. There was no doubt he was mine—not that Ash would lie about something like that.
Faking her death, sure.
I waited a second for the anger to come back, but it didn’t. Instead, I was thinking about her alone and in pain, giving birth to our son, while I was doing time in prison. Hell of a father I was. Someday he was going to know that story. Would he forgive me?
Or maybe not. Maybe her plan was still to cut me out of his life.
“We should get going,” she said, eventually. I had barely said anything since arriving. Instead I just stood there, staring at her and the kid. At George, who was clearly beside himself with glee. Not only had Ash come back from the dead, she’d done so bringing him a grandson.
“No, you just got here,” George protested. “We have so much catching up to do. I need to know every minute of this baby’s life since he was born.”
Ash smiled as she picked up her son. “Let me give you the highlights. A lot of nursing, sleeping, pooping, not sleeping and stubbornness. Oh, and belly laughs that will make you cry tears of joy at how happy he is.” She looked at me then. “And he likes trains. I forgot to tell you that before. I should have… Anyway, it doesn’t matter. We’re a family again. So we’ll get to see each other whenever we want. But I told you about the bakery. I need to get back to it.”
“You did. I don’t know what surprised me more. Your sudden rebirth, or the fact you can bake now.”
Ash smiled, but I could see it was forced. She was still nervous. Because of me.
Hell, I was nervous because of me. Because I didn’t have a fucking clue what to do now.
“The car’s packed. We should hit the road.”
I watched her pick up some baby bag and lift it over her shoulder. Then she moved through the cabin, careful to avoid me. Or at least, that’s what I thought. I followed her out the door and watched as she buckled the kid into the car seat. This time her hands weren’t shaking. She looked like a pro at it, whereas I wouldn’t know one buckle from another.
I should get a car seat and practice.
Once the kid was secure, she turned and gave me a tight smile, then, looking over my shoulder, she waved to George. Before I could say or do anything, I was watching them drive off again.
I felt a heavy pat on my shoulder. “I know, son. I know. Takes a little getting used to, but you will. Guess I’ll be selling this place and heading to Florida.”
I turned around. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, if my family is going to be in Florida, then that’s where I’m going to be, too. A ten-hour drive is too long. I hate the thought of her in the car that long with the baby. Especially on her own. Anyway, you’ll all be down there, only makes sense I move closer to you.”
“I’m not going to Florida.”
The words left my mouth, but I didn’t even know if they were true. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing. For years now, my life had been mixed up in Ash drama. What she was doing and sacrificing for me. What I was doing and sacrificing for her.
Now, it was over. She was safe. Her father and husband were gone. She had no legal trouble, as long as the paperwork she’d used to establish her new identity was solid.
I didn’t know if it was, because I didn’t know how she’d done it. I hadn’t even asked. And how had she gotten the money? All her father’s money was gone. What little there was left ,was staring at me in the form of an F150 truck.
Fuck. I would have to sell it. Give her what little of her inheritance there was left. For her and her kid.
Your kid. He’s your kid!
“What are you talking about?” George asked, a tone in his voice I’d never heard. “Of course you’re going to Florida. You understand that’s your son she walked out the door with?”
“It’s complicated.”
I walked away from him, back inside the cabin. The place I came to when I thought of home. I’d considered continuing on to Florida, but I didn’t have any sense of my welcome. Those words, the ones I’d put inside the box and hadn’t looked at very closely, came out and stung me.
“I want you to remember that, Marc. I want you to think hard about how you swore you could never love me.”
“We’re poisoned, Marc. It’s neither of our faults, but it’s there. I can’t have that for my baby. I won’t. I’m sorry.”
She wasn’t wrong. Things had never been easy for us. When I think about how we were growing up? How I’d treated her? Like a punching bag, who could take every blow I dealt because she never wavered in her affection for me.
