Page 58 of Don't Love Me
It would feel like an abandonment, and Marc didn’t handle that well.
“Oh, sure, I understand,” Marc said snidely. “You go to finishing school or daddy pulls the funds. What’s a girl supposed to do? Buy shoes off the discount rack?”
This time I stood to confront him.
“You know what, Marc? This is the part of the story where the princess runs off and the hero doesn’t even realize what he’s said or done to upset her. Fuck that! This isn’t about the money. If I don’t go to Switzerland, he’ll have you expelled from Princeton. And don’t think for a second he can’t do that.”
That shut him up. Slowly, almost gingerly, he sat on the couch again. I moved to sit next to him.
“Are you being serious right now?” he asked quietly. Like he couldn’t believe he’d actually gotten caught up in this Machiavellian scheme. But Marc’s childhood had been equally dramatic, so he knew something about ruthlessness.
“Arthur has proven himself to be more coldblooded than I understood him to be. I thought he was just an absent father. Distant emotionally. Now, there’s another side to him I’m discovering. Yes, I think he’s deadly serious.”
“George guessed this,” Marc told me. “He said it was like your father was preparing him for this eventuality. Probably so George wouldn’t freak out when it eventually did happen. This is so fucked up.”
Marc stood and paced in front of me for several minutes until he stopped and looked at me. Based on the quality of his sneer, I knew what was coming.
“Although you probably love this shit, right?”
“What?!” I screeched. “You know how hard I’ve worked to earn Princeton. Not just going because mydaddycould make it happen.”
“Oh, yeah,” he said, throwing his hands up. “The sacrifice. All for me. Am I supposed to worship at your feet for doing this, Ash? Fall to my knees? Is that what you’re hoping for? Or am I supposed to play the hero and tell you I’ll quit school so he can’t hold it over your head?”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s two years of finishing school, not hard labor at Guantanamo Bay. I’ll survive it.”
“Because I’m not giving up Princeton!” he shouted at me. “It’s not just a college to me. It’s my fucking freedom from all of this!”
Anger made me stand, too.
“I know that! But you want to know why you chose finance? Why you want to work in a bank? It’s so you can make money! Because money is power and control, and you want as much of it as you can possibly get.Thisis the power money gets you, Marc! This is the power my father has right now.”
His face got tight. His jaw clenched.
“You could tell me to go fuck off,” he said. “You could tell your father to go fuck off. You don’t have to sacrifice your life for me. Don’t make me carry around that guilt.”
I sighed and put my hands on his waist and rested my head against his chest. Something, before last night, he might not have let me do, but he wasn’t pushing me away.
“If Arthur didn’t use you as leverage, he would have gone after George.”
“George! He’s worked for him for over twenty years. Since before you were born!”
“Right! And Arthur knows what he means to me. He might have threatened to fire him. Something. There’s no guilt for you, Marc. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to tell you. Maybe it should have been a silent sacrifice, but I couldn’t live with the idea of you thinking I would be okay with going to some damn finishing school instead of being with you at Princeton. I think I also needed you to know how merciless Arthur really is. If only to warn George.”
I dropped my hands and stepped away.
“Anyway, that’s it. That’s my news. You’ll be okay because we’ll still be in touch. I’ll call and text.”
“I’llbe okay?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Yes. Remember? Me. Air,” I told him.
I started to walk away when he reached for my hand. “I’ll get it done in a year. Double up on credits. Figure out what I have to do, but I’ll finish this degree as fast as I can.”
I cupped his cheek and smiled. “See? Turns out you are the hero. Don’t jeopardize anything, Marc. For me, this is a couple of classes in fork etiquette and ballroom dancing. For you, this is your future.”
He nodded, then squeezed my hand.
“Your father has never wanted your happiness,” he said. “My mother was a dope addict who couldn’t help herself, but at least she loved me. Once upon a time.”
