Page 58 of My Super Sexy Spy
I sat in bed with a laptop that Liam had given me in case I needed access to the internet or wanted to write.
Write. That wasn’t happening. My brain felt so thick it would be like trying to push words out of an extremely tiny hole onto paper.
Word shitting. That’s what it would feel like, and even if I had the inclination to do it, what the hell was I supposed to write about? Getting kidnapped at the train station? Getting tied up in a pied a terre?
Now, all I wanted was for Leigh to write back so I could pour my heart out to someone, because evidently Liam didn’t want anything to do with it.
ME:Boys are stupid!
I probably shouldn’t have been calling Liam a boy for the same reasons we shouldn’t call women girls, but that’s what this felt like. Something out of junior high where the guy decides he doesn’t like the girl he’s been kissing anymore, but doesn’t have the guts to break up with her.
Not that we were a couple. Really. And we’d had sex only the one time! If I was going to be in a pseudo-relationship with a spy, I should have at least been having ridiculous monkey sex, but neither of us felt comfortable doing that while a man was dying.
Not just any man, but my father. Sort of.
LEIGH:I’m here. And don’t I know it, sister.
ME:You’re so lucky you’re gay. You only have to deal with rational, reasonable women.
LEIGH:Trust me, they’re not all rational. What’s up? You having problems with Pierced Dick?
It’s what I’d told her. That Liam and I were simply having an affair and enjoying each other for some time before I had to go home. It sounded worldly and sexy. I only felt marginally guilty lying about everything, but it still made absolutely no sense to tell Leigh anything about what was really happening in Paris.
ME:I thought things were going really well, but tonight he was strange. It felt like he was pulling away.
LEIGH:Uh oh. I was afraid of this.
That didn’t sound good. That his behavior was predictable.
ME:Afraid of what?
LEIGH:How you were going to handle the end of this affair. I mean, you knew it had to come at some point. You weren’t planning on setting up house in France and living on a vineyard for the rest of your life…were you?
There it was in black and white. The end of the affair. Or in my case, the end of the non-affair affair. With a super sexy spy guy.
ME:No. Of course not. It’s just that…he’s been so wonderful, and then it was like something changed.
LEIGH:He’s probably coming to the same realization you are. That eventually this has to end. Maybe he’s trying to protect himself.
I snorted. That didn’t sound like Liam. Protect himself from what? It wasn’t as if I was any kind of threat to him. Maybe he’d just gotten tired of coddling me.
But damn it, after these past few weeks, I deserved a little freaking coddling!
ME:He could have just said something. Been honest about it.
LEIGH:See above…
Right. Boys were stupid.
ME:I’ll be coming home soon. I’m just waiting…well, let’s just say for a sign from the universe.
LEIGH:It’s probably for the best.
ME:You’re right. I’m going to go to bed. I’ll talk to you when I’m back in the States.
LEIGH:Okay. I’m here though, if you need me.
ME:You’re a good friend. Even if you are only a fake internet friend.
