Page 58 of Totally Shipped
I move Daisy closer to where Gray is gently helping Leander down on the sand. I feel her shaking, my body is as well.
We become one trembling pile.
We stay like that for a while, I can’t tell how long.
Leander is panting like he’s just run a marathon. I reach out a hand and put it on his back.
“Lea, we made it. You did good.”
“Fuck me. A current took me under, I couldn’t fight it.”
Daisy tightens her arms around him. That was all so fucking intense.
And now Harvey is dead.
Harvey sacrificed himself so Daisy and the baby could live. Without that sacrifice, one or all of us would be dead. Leander first; he was already putting himself in the path of that beast.
I look out to sea. There is no sign of the shark now, and the water looks calm and tranquil.
My body feels completely battered, I can only imagine how Leander is feeling.
And poor Daisy. “Macushla? How are you doing?”
She has yet another huge bruise now blooming on her thigh.
“Daisy?”
“I’m alright.”
I give her a look; there is a wildness in her eyes like I’ve never seen before.
“I am, Killian. Harvey saved us. I thought Leander was dead. It’s a lot to take in. I don’t think I can process it right now.” Tears spill out over her cheeks.
Daisy gets to her knees and kinda flops her body over the three of us, like we are her human life raft. We hold each other and let her cry until finally she is all cried out.
“What do you need?” Gray asks her. “Food? Water? More rest?”
She shakes her head vehemently. “I want to go home. I need to go home. To Key, to Rex.”
“Then home it is.”
Gray lifts her to her feet. “And we’ll give you a chair-lift all the way there.” He raises an eyebrow at me and I move closer. “Hold onto my wrists,” he tells me.
Daisy tries to say she’s fine to walk, but eventually lets us carry her.
Leander leads the way, beating the trail, then Gray and I carry our Daisy, who is carrying our baby, through the jungle and back to the rest of our family.
REX
Last night I talked to my old crew.
When Key was asleep, I sat by the fire and spilled everything.
“Alicia, Hutch? Hey guys I love Daisy, is that OK? Stephan, I know your girl lost you, is it alright if I have a girl? Carlo—can you forgive me if I find happiness?”
There were no shooting stars, or heavenly interventions, to give me an OK from beyond the grave, just a shifting in my soul. A weight being released. I would never be rid of the guilt, but I was going to find ways to live with it in a healthier manner. I try to see my survival as a gift. Try to be worthy of that gift.
Fuck.
