Page 13 of Totally Shipped
“Key, sweetheart,please.”
Keyara cocks her head on one side and I flap a hand at her. “Fine, another pebble in the Rex cup.”
Having Key interrupt gives me a moment to slow down my reaction. Daisy’s eyes are wide and worried. Gray and Killian look like they want to punch me.
Yeah. Like I’m the one in the wrong.
Leander gets to his feet. “Say again?”
“I think I might be pregnant,” Daisy repeats quietly.
Keyara is wandering back from depositing my cussing marker. “You're having a baby? I get to have a cousin here?” She runs to Daisy and wraps her arms around Daisy’s middle.
“Slow down, noodle. It’s not certain, but it’s possible, so I thought it best to let you all know. We can’t keep secrets on this island.”
I’m glad she told me, but what the fuck! What the fuck do Gray, Leander, and Killian think they are doing? Haven’t they ever heard of withdrawing? Why didn’t they get vasectomies like me?
Because they weren’t punishing themselves by denying themselves a family.
I tell the small voice in my head to shut up.
This is so irresponsible of them. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I look at Daisy, her small frame. The idea of her trying to give birth without doctors and hospitals…It makes me fucking furious. I need to take a minute to cool down.
I’m standing on the shore, looking out to sea, when a small hand slips into mine.
“Rex? You seem really mad.”
I am mad. Mad at all of them.
“So irresponsible of you,” I mutter.
“I know,” Daisy whispers back. “But we couldn’t stop ourselves—it’s love. It’s comfort. You know what I mean?”
“Know what you mean?” I snap. I can’t help it. I’m furious she is pregnant, and if I’m honest with myself, I’m furious everyone is fucking her and I am not.
“I do not know what you mean, and you know why?” She looks up at me with big eyes. “Because I’m not fucking you, and I’m not going to fuck you.” I pull my hand from hers and swipe it over my face.
“I can’t even fucking get-off anyway. I haven’t gotten off since the fire. Don’t think I’d like to have some comfort, some fucking pleasure, even if it’s only by my own hand? I do. I fucking do. But every time, suddenly I’m fucking back on that mountain, knowing my crew are dying. It’s a fucking boner-killer, let me tell you. But not Gray, not Leander. Oh no, they can fuck anything that moves.”
I see the hurt in her eyes.
“They can fuck you. Get the comfort you talk about.” I turn my back on her. “Whatever. You’re pregnant. We’ll all have to deal with it.”
“Rex…”
“What?”
“Youcanhave comfort. Youcanhave connection. Youcanhave love.”
I shake my head; she doesn’t get it. “I’m sorry, Daisy. I shouldn’t have shouted at you. Give me a minute and I’ll be alright.”
“Can I hug you?” she asks.
I want her arms around me. I want them so bad. I want her comfort, her love.
But no. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to Stephan and Alicia. Nor Hutch and Carlo.
