Page 61 of Totally Shipped
“Now talk,” Daisy commands.
So I talk.
“Back on the other island, when Leander and Killian had rushed past me and into the cavern. I stayed with Harvey, right? I had him pinned. I told him I’d never wanted to kill another human being until that moment.”
It’s true that I wanted to kill him, but something inside made me hesitate.
“L-l-look,” he’d gibbered. “I won’t d-do anything like this again.”
“You won’t.” I had said. I wasn’t going to let him harm a hair on Daisy’s head, and there is only one way to ensure that.
“But I couldn’t bring myself to kill him. He was on his knees by this point, begging for his life.”
Harvey had seen the indecision in my eyes.
“Just let me stay here alone—you’ll never see me again. I’m just alone. I’m just lonely. Come on, man, surely you understand?”
I pull him away from the wall and whip him around hard, he’s screaming.
“I’M SORRY…” he screamed.
“I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill another man in cold blood.”
“That’s because you are a good person,” Daisy tells me.
A good person. Ha! I hit him. I hit him and I heard his nose crunch under my fist. His head bounced off the rocks.
“It would be so easy just to roll him over the edge of the cliff,” I tell them. “I thought about it. I claimed it was an accident. I even bent down and put my hands under his body. I was going to do it.”
But I don’t.
Instead, I took the wire from my pocket and bound his wrists and ankles.
“You did the right thing,” Killian says.
“My dad killed a man,” I tell them. “He beat a guy to death. The jury said it was manslaughter, not murder, but I think about those words a lot--Man. Slaughter. Dad lost his temper and beat a man so badly that the guy died from his injuries. I saw it happen.”
“Ain’t you got any nuts in that sack of yours?” Dad says to me. He’s holding some weasely guy by the collar, but I can’t tell who it is, on account of all the blood.
“Here’s your chance to man-up. One of these days, you’ll need to put a punk down, so come get a few swings in. Ain’t nobody gonna teach you better than this. Put your boots on, kick his teeth in!”
Dad’s eyes gleam with excitement.
And I so want to please him. This is the first time he’s ever really… seen me.
“Dad wanted me to join in. Help him beat the guy up. It was all so messed up.”
“Gray, you little pussy, I ain’t gonna hold him here forever.”
I run into my room and grab my boots. They are heavy, and far too big for me, but some guy left them in the trailer one night—must have gone home high and barefoot. Tying them is hard. No one has ever shown me how to do shoelaces properly, but I’ve been watching people, and I’ve almost got it.
Takes time though.
“GRAY!”
I stand and walk back into the main room.
If I do this, Dad will approve. Dad will like me. I’ll be like Dad.
