Page 96 of Totally Wrecked
Key eagerly throws down her weaving to get her bowl of food. Daisy gets up more slowly. She’s been really quiet since she had her slip and fall by the pool, poor thing. Her back was bruised and gravel-rashed and you can tell she is in pain sometimes, not that she complains.
Not that she says much at all recently, come to think about it. It’s almost like…like she’s presenting us with a shell, and for some reason she has buried the real Daisy.
I recognize that shell. I spent a lot of years presenting a shell and burying the real Gray. It built the shell to keep myself separated from being hurt. The inner Gray was not beaten or abused, just the outer shell.
What happened to Daisy that she needed to build a shell?
“Have you noticed how subdued Daisy is?” I mutter in Rex’s ear.
“Yeah, I’ve seen that.”
I guess I could check in with Leander or Killian. They hover around her all the time.
Like he read my mind, Killian looks up at me. “Gray, come and get it!”
Oh yeah, breakfast.
I take it from him, then go sit on the other side of the fire. Things have been a little awkward between us, and we haven’t had a chance to talk much. Actually, that’s not true, we have time to talk—I just keep avoiding being alone with Killian.
Why?
Because I don’t know if I want to hear what he has to say. I’m afraid he’ll say we were nothing, and that our time together was just a desperate moment of comfort in a traumatic time. Or I'm afraid he’ll say we were something, but now he’s back with Daisy, and she takes precedence.
Shit, what is wrong with me? I need to focus on some of the real issues, like our shelter.
I quickly finish up my food so I can get to work.
We’ve had a lot of discussion on how the shelter is going to be built, and we ended up deciding on a teepee style.
In my head I have it all mapped out. First we will need some long, strong uprights. Time to put the “ax” through its paces.
Yeah, the ax of peril.
The ax head had been in the plane, and we’ve made a handle of sorts, but it’s kinda lethal. A couple of times the head has slipped off and gone flying when I’ve been trying to chop shit. So we have a rule; no one goes near me when I’ve got the ax.
I head off to chop the eight sapling trees we’ve already ear-marked as the uprights.
Whack. What a fucking weird situation we are in.
Whack. I sucked Killian off, and liked it.
Whack. And I want to fuck Daisy.
Whack. That’s not true, I want to protect Daisy.
Whack. And fuck her.
Don’t think like that. Leander is with Daisy, and maybe so is KIllian.
I’m happy for them.
I’ll build them a fucking house, I’m so fucking happy.
I chop the trunk of the next tree in half with one blow.
A movement catches my peripheral vision.
“KEEP CLEAR!” I yell.
