Page 28 of Totally Wrecked
“Ooh, thank you. Do you think he heard that?”
“I think he did.”
Killian gives my hand a squeeze, but drops it as Leander arrives with beers and Keyara. I try to absorb this new information as Leander introduces Killian to the little girl.
After a shy smile, Keyara settles down on the deck, snuggled next to Leander’s leg, and gets back to her book.
“Gray is fucking with the engine,” Leander tells us, “so it seems like the ideal time to kick back and enjoy a cold one.”
“Swear,” says Keyara, holding out a hand.
“Shit. I forgot,” says Leander, digging in his pocket.
“It’s a double swear now.”
“She’s going to drain me dry,” says Leander, giving an exaggerated sigh.
“Talking of which, I gotta hit the head” Killian says, getting to his feet. He steps over Keyara’s outstretched legs and pretends to trip, which makes her giggle some more.
Leander puts Killian’s bottle on a step, then hands me one and keeps the third for himself.
“Cheers, new friend!” he says. We clink bottles and Leander turns to watch Killian enter the cabin. “If I was gay, I’d totally have the hots for Killian,” he says in a low voice. “What about you? Would you do him? It’s the Irish accent isn’t it? I wish I had an accent. Girls go wild for them.”
“Do you always talk to strangers so frankly?” I ask, amused and not at all offended. Leander just doesn’t seem to have a filter.
He shrugs and grins. “I’m twenty-four, so being in my sexual prime, I think about sex all the time. It’s only natural.” I can’t help but grin back at him. “So, yeah. Would you do Killian? I’d totally watch that. Ooh, and then you could invite me to join…” His voice gets even quieter and he whispers. “Shit, I’m getting a boner right now. I’ve gotta turn around.”
I glance down and see his cut off jean shorts tenting. He wasn’t joking. Leander turns away from Keyara and I, then leans over the guardrail. I go stand next to him and we watch the ocean.
“I’ll have to imagine you boning that old, plastic TV guy instead, that will limp my dick in a heartbeat. Why are you fucking him, anyway? He got a monster dick or something?” he asks me in his totally frank manner. “He doesn’t seem your type at all.”
The way Leander refers to Harvey as the old, plastic TV guy is hilarious—Harvey is forty, tops, and frequently in the top ten for sexiest celebrity of the year lists. Hehashad a lot of surgery, though. That much is obvious.
“I’m not, err, fudging him. And also, he is absolutely definitely not my type.” I feel my face going red.
“Well, that’s good to hear! It made me sad to think about. Now, you and Killian on the other hand? Awww, you’re blushing—have you done it already?”
Luckily I’m saved from any more embarrassment, as Keyara leans over and tugs on my boot.
“What’s up, honey?” I ask, squatting down next to her.
She points to a word in her book and shrugs. “What’s it mean?” she says quietly. I look at where her finger is pointing.
“Burlap. Hmm, they were carrying jars of sploosh in a burlap sack…” I think for a minute, “have you ever seen big sacks of coffee beans?” I stretch my arms to show her how big I mean, she shakes her head.
“Leander, what comes in a burlap sack on Samoa?”
He side-eyes me. “I’m not very agricultural.”
“Not helpful,” I tell him.
He scratches his head for a moment then laughs, “OK, what about umu?”
Keyara is clearly puzzled, and so am I. “Umu?” she says. “That’s a cooking thing, Uncle Leander.”
“Ah, yes. And do you remember how it is made?”
“Hot stones. You put food on hot stones?”
