Page 16 of The Madman's Nightmare
Turning on his heels, he walked up the stairs, leaving me alone in the basement. Looking at the tray, I saw a cup of coffee, scrambled eggs with toast, and sausage. I didn’t think it was morning, but there was no telling down here in the basement. I didn’t even know what day or time it was, but I had to keep my strength up.
Whatever opening they gave me, I had to take, so I lifted the tray from the table and took it into the bedroom.
Sitting down, I started to eat as thoughts of my sons drifted into my head. Their sweet smiles, their kindness and infectious giggles that gave me more joy than anything in the world. How were they doing? Were they still at my parents or had Devlin picked them up? Was Devlin actually shot, or was this all part of the plan?
I began to eat, trying to force the voice in my head out, not needing the intrusive thoughts to overtake me. I had to keep my spirits up or I would wither away down here.
When I finished the food, I stood from the bed and carried the tray back into the main room. Deciding I didn’t want to interact with Bradon or his crazy sister at that moment, I walked the tray up the stairs and placed it at the closed door. Returning to the room, I closed the door and lied down, feeling the plastic spoon pressing into my stomach. Pulling it out, I slipped it under the pillow on the bed and stared at the door, waiting.
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but the familiar nightmare from my childhood began playing, pulling me back into that whorehouse in the Flats.
“Where is that little cockroach?” the bad man who was in charge yelled, and I pressed myself tighter into the corner of the closet, praying he wouldn’t find me. A crash sounded into the room as he yelled, “Where is she?”
I’d never hidden from him before, but he was so mad earlier that he whipped me with a belt and said he was going to lock me in the shed. My mom didn’t even say anything to him when he pulled my panties down in front of everyone and bent me over to spank me with his leather belt. They looked like they were bored, and no one tried to stop him.
I hated him for hitting me and hated my mom for letting it happen. The only person who it seemed to bother was Lynn, but he didn’t stop the man either.
I covered my ears with my hands as the man yelled louder in the hallway, looking for me. When I heard him finally scream, “Fuck it. I’ll find her later,” did I feel like I was safe. At least for the moment.
No one in this house cared about me, and I wished I was anywhere else but here. Mom was always spending time with her friends, and when she invited them into our room, I had tocover my ears and close my eyes so I didn’t have to hear or see what they were doing. It was scary and gross, and it happened every day.
Not one time had my mom taken me anywhere special or even acted like she liked me, so I didn’t know why I kept looking at her to save me.
I must have fallen asleep in the closet because the next thing I knew, I heard screams coming from all over the house. Startling awake, I pulled myself tighter into the corner and used a dirty blanket to cover myself, hoping whatever was going on didn’t have to do with me.
The noises were horrible, and I tried to block them out, but the words, “No,” “Stop,” and, “Don’t,” echoed throughout the house. Sitting in the closet, hidden from whatever was happening, was terrifying, and after a while, I didn’t hear anything at all.
I didn’t want to leave my safe spot, but something was wrong. The house was never quiet. There were always people speaking, music playing, or adults making those scary noises in the bedrooms. For there to be no noise was just as scary.
Carefully, I moved the blanket covering me and pushed my ear to the closed door. It was so quiet in the room, and slowly, I turned the knob to look out. It was dark as the normal smell of the house hit my nose. The smell of cigarettes, the yucky drink that was everywhere, and garbage was normal, but something else lingered in the air.
With silent footsteps, I moved to the door that led out into the house. My heart thumped hard in my chest, and I listened through the closed door. My hands were shaking, and the scary feeling that something was wrong overtook me as I listened to the silence outside the door.
I couldn’t stay in this room forever, so I turned the knob as slowly as I could so it wouldn’t make any noise. I didn’t wantthe man to yell at me, or worse. The hallway was dark as I stepped out and looked from left to right.
No one was visible, so I started to slide my feet across the carpet as I moved down the hallway as silently as possible. Peeking around the corner into the living room, I couldn’t see anything in the dark, and I felt the tremble grow throughout my body.
A faint light was coming from the kitchen, and I walked across the room, trying to see in front of me and not trip on the garbage that littered the floor. I turned the corner and slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the scream from erupting from my lips. The lady my mom spent time with was slumped over the cabinet, and by the light from the open fridge door, I could see something red oozing from her body.
I might have been young, but I knew something was very wrong inside the house. I slipped against the wall and tears fell down my cheeks as I looked for a way out. The light from the back yard was shining through a tear in a curtain in the dining room, so I carefully moved toward it.
There was something on the floor that I tripped over, causing me to fall. Something slippery was under my knees, but I couldn’t make out what it was as I pushed myself back onto my feet, trying to get to the window. I got to the window and with great care to be as silent as I could, I pushed the curtain to the side, allowing the bright light from the back yard to shine into the room. What I saw caused my world to tilt on its side.
My mother was lying on the dining room floor with her eyes open, but she wasn’t staring at anything. A large puddle of red liquid surrounded her, and I looked down to see my knees were covered in it.
The terror that overtook me was bigger than anything I’d ever experienced as I bolted across the dining room, purposely avoiding my mom, and across the living room. The back doorwas cracked, and when I grabbed the handle and yanked it open, I didn’t look back. Running as fast as I could, I did everything to put as much space between me and the house as possible.
Just as I got to the edge of the fence in the back yard, blackness overtook me, and I didn’t remember anything after that.
I jolted awake, feeling my heart beating fast in my chest as the old familiar dream replayed in my mind. The events of my nightmare never actually happened. I was saved from the house when I was five, the night Devlin and James took me, leaving me in a church for the pastor and his wife to discover. The therapist I saw for a few years said the nightmare was a manifestation of my secret desires.
I wanted everyone around me to die, and for that dream to visit me again, after almost ten years without it, had me in a panic. If I didn’t get out of this basement and away from those two crazy assholes upstairs, I wasn’t going to survive.
Standing from the small bed, I stretched my back and walked to the toilet. After doing my business, I opened the door and walked into the basement. Nothing had changed except for the tray at the top of the stairs was gone. Carefully, I walked up the stairs and listened to the door, hoping to hear conversations.
It was silent and as I returned to the bedroom, I couldn’t help but question why the nightmare had returned, and what it meant this time.
Was my subconscious trying to warn me, or tell me something?
