Page 119 of No Rings Attached
It didn’t always hit me this hard. Over the years, I’d mastered forcing myself to use open backed stairs, and not getting too close to the edge of buildings or views high up so I didn’t trigger my fear.
“Oh, dear. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Because I wanted her to be happy. Because putting her first was instinct, even if it broke me. Because admitting fear felt like weakness.
Her words cut through the panic, pulling me from the abyss.
“Drew …” She whispered close to my ear as I clutched the side of the car and her shoulder. “You have no idea how much I love your sketches,” she continued. “The way you design—it’s stunning. I hope one day you make your own collection. I’d buy every piece.”
My chest squeezed. I wanted to tell her she could have anything, everything, for free. I wanted to tell her I’d been thinking of showing my dad what I’d been working on and discussing Ellie’s idea. But the words stuck in my throat as the wheel stopped again and my heart lurched.
Then she shifted, her lips brushing my ear. “And I love what else you can do with your fingers.”
My breath caught.
“You know exactly how to touch me. How deep, how slow. How to make me fall apart.” Her voice shook, her cheeks scarlett, but she didn’t stop.
God.She was doing this for me. She was distracting me the only way she knew how—even if it was difficult for her.
“Ellie …” My voice cracked, half strangled, half aroused.
“Thinking about it makes meache,”she whispered. “Makes me want you.”
The panic receded, replaced by raw, consuming need.
“Kiss me, Drew,” she demanded, nuzzling my neck with her nose and touching her lips to my skin.
I didn’t stop to think. I let go of the car, cupped her face, and kissed her hard, pouring everything into it—fear, gratitude, hunger … and my feelings that were growing stronger for her every day.
She moaned, soft and sweet, her mouth opening for me. The world tilted; but this time it was her, not the Ferris wheel.
A throat cleared. “Uh. Did you want to go around again?” the attendant asked.
“Nope,” Ellie tugged me up as soon as the bar lifted. “I got my good luck kiss.”
I gingerly climbed out of the ride car and guided her away from the ride. Once it was out of sight, she stopped short, and punched at my arm.
I stumbled back, more out of surprise, than her strength. “What?”
“Don’t you ever do that again,” she snapped, eyes blazing.
“Do what?”
“Think that you need to hide your fears just to make me happy. It’s … sexy as hell that you did it, but I hate that you put yourself through it for me.”
“I wanted?—”
“Not at the expense of yourself,” she cut in, voice trembling. She stepped closer, hands fisting my shirt. “I love that you put me first. But not like that. Not when it hurts you.”
Her raw concern sank deeper than my fear ever had.
I nodded and tugged her into my arms. My chin resting on her head. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
She settled into my embrace. “You should be sorry,” she mumbled.
I smiled, holding her tighter. In this moment, I realized the truth I wasn’t ready to say out loud: I was falling in love with Ellie.
And I had no idea how to be the man she deservedandthe one who chased my career.
