Page 54 of Taming Grumpy Dr. Beast
Chapter Fifteen
Lily
Ineeded to get awayfrom Jaxon and out of his house now, and a little rain wouldn’t stop me. Everywhere I turned something reminded me of him. Patches snuck past me as I shut the back patio door with a click. My anger fueled my steps as I strode out into the yard and closer to the tree line.
I stopped short just beyond the towering trees. The anger that vibrated within me needed a release. My head fell back, and I let loose a feral scream that got swallowed up by the raging storm. Rain poured over my face, dripping down my chin, and under the raincoat I wore.
Could today get any worse?
Patches bounced next to me, barking as though we were on a grand adventure, completely undeterred by the weather. I had to work off the anger and frustration swirling inside of me. I forced one foot in front of the other. I strode ahead without a destination in mind only knowing I couldn’t stop until I found the strength to deal with my life crashing and burning around me.
Usually, I was so good at compartmentalizing my feelings. This time, though, my emotions raged out of control. They were too big for me to handle and not feel like I would shatter. My anger shifted between Jaxon and the shitstorm my life had become. How could I have let this happen? If I couldn’t protect my father, what good was I? He’d been my strongest supporter, always encouraging me to reach for my dreams. He never let me down. And how did I repay him? By screwing up.
I knew I had to be strong for both of us. If I broke there was no one to pick up the pieces. No one to take care of Dad. I couldn’t lose everything we’d worked so hard for.
Strands of hair whipped around my face as the winds increased. I yanked up the hood of my light raincoat, my fingertips holding it tight around my head. As the wind blew and the rain fell, my jacket grew heavy and stuck to me. I shivered as the chilly air snuck beneath my thin layers of clothes.
I already regretted my decision to come out in this mess. Not that it mattered. I couldn’t go back with this anger bubbling up inside of me. I’d only make everything worse. And I wasn’t ready to face Jaxon.
I stubbornly continued onward. Within half an hour, feeling cold, wet, and miserable, I still didn’t have an answer to my immediate problems. My anger had dissipated, but the doubts remained, constantly pecking at me, teasing me with the fears I couldn’t let go. The fear that I couldn’t care for Dad any longer, the fear that losing his job and ultimately his health insurance would destroy us financially, and the fear I would need to place him in assisted care I couldn’t afford.
The worst part was having to tell him I failed. I tried to swallow past the despair that was lodged in my throat.
I sniffed and wiped the tears and rainwater off my face. The woods around me had grown gloomier as the moon dipped behind dark, angry storm clouds. I shivered and pulled my jacket tighter around me, shoving my hands into my pockets.
My fingertips brushed against a mangled tissue inside. I pulled it out, wiped at my eyes, and blew my nose. Running away and punishing myself by staying out here wasn’t solving any of my problems. And if I didn’t turn back now, it was very likely I’d get lost.
“Come on, boy. Let’s go home.” I crouched down to scratch Patches behind his ear and smiled when his little tongue peeked out and licked my hand. He was the bright spot to any bad day.
I stood and tapped the side of my leg with my palm to indicate he should follow me. A happy series of barks followed as Patches ran a few feet ahead. A bird’s startled screech made me jump. With the sudden movement and slippery terrain, my feet slid right out from under me. My arms pinwheeled, trying to find balance. My body tilted to the left. In a last-ditch effort, I tried to stop myself from hitting the ground, and instead stumbled. With my balance gone, I hit the ground hard and rolled.
I hadn’t gone far when the ground dropped out from under me. My body was weightless for a fraction of a second before plummeting straight down. I screamed as I slammed against the unyielding ground. Unable to stop, I spun out of control, catapulting faster down the steep side. Pain sliced through my arms and legs as rocks and branches flew past me. I threw my arms around my head to protect it, praying my descent would be over soon.
When the ground leveled out, I stopped rolling, and laid on my back waiting for my head to stop spinning. Unable to move I closed my eyes against the rain, letting my body sink into the cold, wet, muddy soil. When I finally looked up the cloud filled sky above me was the only thing I could see. With darkness approaching a handful of stars were suddenly visible in the sky poking out from between the clouds.
No one knew I was out here, and every muscle in my body screamed in pain. For a second, I considered laying there and not getting up, but my eternal sense of optimism, encouraged by Dad, refused to surrender. A wry chuckle burst from my lips, thinking about what he would tell me to do in this situation. He would make me look at it from all angles, be logical, and I’d figure it out. I always did.
This fall was like my life. It sucked going down, but determination would help me find a way out. Dad had always said that when things were at their worst it had to get better. I only needed to believe it to be true. With this tumble, as with my life there was nothing left to do but to get up and find a workable solution.
I scanned my body to check for broken bones or blood. A grateful sigh whooshed out when nothing twinged more than a sore muscle. I was intact and had no broken bones just plentiful cuts and bruises that would heal. Now it was time to save myself and get back to the house to face the consequences of my actions.
I stood, and then moved closer to the wall of the ravine. The steep incline would prevent me from walking out. I’d need to climb. I pressed my palms into the muddy wall and tilted my head back. In the dim light from the stars, I squinted, working out the height of the ravine.
By lifting my arm up as high as I could, I noticed the ledge was still a solid five to seven feet away. If my estimate was correct and I added my height to the length of my arm, the ravine wall must be close to fifteen feet high.
Patches peered over the edge above me and barked. Thank goodness that sweet baby hadn’t fallen with me. He’d already been through too much.
With his little whines of encouragement, I sunk my fingers into the slick wall and struggled to pull myself up. With each push of my hand, my fingers slid, and so did my body. Without a proper handhold to grip or a spot to dig my feet into there wasn’t enough resistance to give me the momentum to climb.
By now Patches’ barking had ceased and he disappeared. I hoped he was on his way home. There was no reason for both of us to be forced to stay out in this mess.
Now I was truly alone.
