Page 125 of Taming Grumpy Dr. Beast
Dad blinked wide eyes at me. His hands came up to rest on my shoulders.
I bit my lip to stop the trembling, not able to stop the tears that welled up and spilled over. “I’m so sorry, Dad.”
“Oh, honey. I had no idea you were carrying this all these years. Your mom leaving wasn’t on you. She and I were having problems. And eventually she realized she didn’t want to be married, and that she wasn’t ready to be a mom.”
“Oh,” I whispered, wiping the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.
“So, all this time, you thought you were the one to drive her away?”
“She always criticized me for knowing random facts that no one else knew. She seemed to hate that and how I always questioned things.” I said with a pained cry. The heartbreak I’d always carried with me leaching into each word. Through the eyes of three-year-old me it was my intelligence that drove my mother away.
“Lilybelle, it’s not that she hated that about you. She just didn’t know how to deal with the intelligent, precocious, beautiful child that you were. I think she was overwhelmed and realized after a while she didn’t want to be a mom. When she began to resent both of us, she knew it was time to leave.”
“Did you try to stop her?”
His hand absently rubbed my shoulder while the other dropped to his side. “No, I didn’t. I’d fought so hard to keep us together before that I think by the time she gave up I was too tired to fight anymore.”
I wrapped my arms around Dad’s waist and silently offered him support.
“Do you want to contact her?” he whispered against the top of my head.
“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly.
“If you wanted to, I’d be okay with that.”
I nodded. “Did you ever try to find out anything about her after she left?”
He rubbed my back. “No. I had you and that was enough for me.”
I hugged him for a minute more before I stepped back. “She had more children.”
“Really? How many?”
“Two.” I wrapped my arms around my waist.
Jaxon stood up from the desk to come around and stand behind me. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me in tight against his chest. Immediately, my shoulders loosened, and I let out a soft sigh.
“Do you want to meet them?” Jaxon asked.
“I don’t know.” I closed my eyes as I leaned back against him, my palms laying flat against my belly.
“How can I help?” He rested his hands over mine.
“You can’t.” I needed to make this decision on my own. “Part of me wants to know them.”
I opened my eyes to focus on Dad. I didn’t want to hurt him any further.
“I’m okay with whatever you decide Lily,” Dad said.
“Thank you.” Hearing his acceptance and support was the final push I needed. I drew in a deep breath. “I’m going to contact them through the site. If we can confirm that we’re related and they’re willing to get together, I’d like to know who they are.”
I slipped out of Jaxon’s arms and moved around his desk to sit down. If I didn’t do this now, I’d lose my motivation. My stomach flipped so hard I thought I might be sick. There was a big part of me that was excited at the possibility of having siblings.
I shoved away the thought that they might not want to know me.
There was no way I could let that thought settle and take root or I’d never reach out to them. I grabbed the laptop and turned it on. Following the directions on the pages in front of me, I signed into my account and wrote a message requesting contact to both my potential siblings.
It was then I realized I didn’t even know what they knew about each other.
