Page 79 of Surprise Baby for Mr. Fischer
“I know.” Nerves raced up and down my spine. I couldn’t put off my career forever, but how the fuck was I going to figure out the best way to handle my job and my relationship with Harper?
“Call me, Lincoln, if you need someone to talk to. Anytime. I mean it.”
I knew he did, but if I explained my hesitation in going, then I’d have to tell Clint about the baby. I promised Harper I’d keep it between us. “I will. And I’ll get back to you about the role as soon as I can. Bye, Clint.”
“Take care, Lincoln.” Clint disconnected the call.
“Shit!” I dropped my phone onto the counter. What was I supposed to do? I turned to pace the room and stopped short. Harper stood in the open doorway, arms across her chest and a frown on her face.
She’d heard my side of the conversation—or enough of it, anyway. My instinct was to soothe her, to reach out and kiss the tiny frown away and tell her I was staying. Instead, I was rooted in place. My fear of saying the wrong thing had me tongue-tied.
Even though I was fairly certain I wasn't leaving, Clint had planted a seed of doubt about what turning down this role might do to my career. I hated that I had to choose between my career and Harper, but I had no other choice for now.
“So you’re leaving,” she stated, not even bothering to ask it as a question. The accusation—laced with anger and disappointment—frustrated me. How could she automatically assume I’d leave?
“I haven’t decided,” I said, angry at her for presuming the worst.
“Really? Why would you say no? You’ve already told me your career is important to you.” What she didn’t say, but what her words implied, was that my career was more important than her.
“It is, Harper, but so are you and the baby. I wouldn’t have hesitated to accept this role three weeks ago. I’d have taken the job without another thought.” My feet, finally able to move, ate up the distance between us. When I reached out to touch the sides of her arms, she evaded my grasp.
“Don’t touch me.” Her eyes narrowed to slits.
My hands dropped back down to my sides. The root of this conversation was more than Harper only being upset at me taking a role and being away from her. I searched her face, hoping for the answer.
Her arms crossed as her gaze settled on a spot above my head. Her indifference tore at me. I knew deep inside that what we had was worth fighting for. Until this moment, I’d thought she felt the same way. Realization slammed into me like an oncoming freight train. She didn’t think we would make it as a couple. “What do you want from me, Harper?”
“Nothing. I don't need you.” Her lips thinned as they pressed together, and she stepped back.
Cold seeped into my body at her impenetrable stance. I wanted to sweep her up into my arms and demand she give me something to hold on to, something to work with. But with each passing second, the warmth I’d seen in her faded.
How could this conversation be going so wrong? How had I not realized that her lack of confidence was so deeply rooted that my leaving was not only plausible to her, but the most probable outcome?
“You might not need me, but I need you.”
She flinched. “No, you don’t.”
How could she act like this? I’d been showing her with my actions how much I wanted us to be together. Shehadto know I felt something for her. I might not have spoken the words, but there was no way she could have missed it. Right? “Can’t we talk this out?”
“Why bother? Acting is who you are. I know how much you love it.” Her shoulders drooped, and the fierceness of her tone dropped to a whisper. “We both knew you were going to leave at some point.”
“Even if I leave, I’ll always come back to you. I’m yours. I don't want to be with anyone else.”
“You say that now, but when you get there, and you’re with beautiful people, attending fancy events, working away from us for months at a time—eventually, you’ll feel like we’re holding you back.”
Each step I took closer to her, she took one further away. “Harper, that’s not true.”
“Even if it isn’t, we’ll hardly see you. The baby and I will get visits from you a few times a year, a few days or weeks, or whatever is convenient for your schedule. We’re the ones left behind waiting for you, waiting for any scrap of love you might send our way.” Her face crumpled before me. Before I could react and comfort her, she drew in a deep breath and smoothed out her features, shoving her sadness away into a part of herself I couldn't reach.
My spine stiffened, and my muscles grew rigid. “We could decide together which roles I take.”
She continued as though I hadn’t spoken, her face emotionless. “Or what if something happened? Can you just drop everything and rush back to us?” She gave a jerky shrug. “Probably not.”
“It won’t be long before I can be more in control of my schedule. Maybe you and the baby can come with me.”
She shook her head. “I want to travel, Lincoln, but where would we find the time to also travel to the picking sites I want to go to? Would you turn down roles so I can follow my dream alongside yours?”
“Harper—in time, yes, we could. But you know right now I have to go where the roles are.”
