Page 61 of Scavenger's Oath
And that’s the part I won’t give her. Not because I can’t. Because I know if I start, I won’t be able to stop. The things I used to enjoy when I was a monster. The things that made girls cry when I—
I cut the thought off.I can’t go there. It’s too ugly.
She’s not mine. Never was.
Looking at her, I see all the ones I couldn’t save. The girls locked up in cages while I looked the other way until they were thrown at my feet, and I was ordered to ruin them. I was the one who hurt them. Me.
And I wanted to protect her from a similar fate. Protect her from Myles… and myself.
Drawing in a slow breath, I try to keep the heat from rising from my throat. The jealousy. Theacheof it. My fingers curl tightly around the rusted bars.
For a second, I imagine tearing them down, dragging her out and forcing her to tell me what the fuckhedid to her. But I don’t. I just breathe and try to smile.
“I'll get something going for breakfast. You okay with eggs again?” I say, rising slowly, keeping my voice as even as possible.
She smiles brightly. “That sounds lovely.”
Giving her a nod, I head toward the door. Once I'm out, I lean against the wall in the hallway and run a hand through my hair.
I can't fall apart now.
She just smiled at me for the first fucking time. She’s beginning to trust us. Letting us in—some of us too farin. That smile should’ve been enough to bring me to my knees. So why does it feel like I'm coming apart?
Shaking my head to cleanse my thoughts, I make my way to the kitchen, forcing the image of her bare legs out of my mind.
The eggs I found are small, speckled things, wild quail probably. There’s not many, just enough for a decent scramble if I stretch it with a few other foraged ingredients. Cracking the eggs into a bowl, I start chopping.
Those marks on her—faint, but there. As if she was handled roughly, like maybe she…
My throat tightens.Did she actually want it?
Myles is intense. Too intense. I've seen him lose control plenty of times before. I saw it when he caught her that night a month ago. That sharp edge he rides. The way he wants something and justtakesit.
But she seemed relaxed earlier… almost happy.
Letting out a rough breath, I dump the contents of the bowl into the pan I've been warming. It sizzles, mirroring the emotions simmering in me.
Goddamnit.I’ve fucked this whole thing sideways before it even started. She offered it to me first, and I broke her heart like a clueless idiot! Trying to be noble. Trying to deny the real monster I am. I shouldn't care so much.
No. That's a lie.
I knew I cared since the first night we took her in. Well… we kidnapped her. No point in sugar coating it.
I need to stop all this thinking. I need something else to distract me from this ache.
The eggs are nearly done, wafting with fragrance, though I can't remember half of making them. My hands moved on their own, muscle memory taking over while my thoughts spun in ugly circles.
Stirring the pan with a little too much force, it scrapes against the burner and nearly falls. It’d be a crime to waste this food—and Phoenix would probably make me eat it off the floor.
Footsteps creak on the stairs behind me, and I don't have to look to know who it is. Only one of us walks like the floor might explode underfoot.
Phoenix stalks in and heads straight for the dented kettle on the stove. Without a word, he flicks it on like it personally offended him.
Good. I can work with that. He’s as twisted up as I am, he just hides it better. If I poke hard enough, I’ll get him to show it. That’s something. Something outside of her.
“Morning,” I say, making my tone sound cheery.
He grunts before opening the coffee tin and ignoring me. Business as usual then.
