Page 120 of Scavenger's Oath
I shake my head once. “No—well, yes. But it’s not just that. I didn't think I deserved to be near you. What I did was wrong.”
She's quiet for a long time and I hold my breath, waiting for the final blow. Then she leans even closer, determined, and tightens her fingers over my fist.
“I thoughtIdid something wrong,” she whispers. “You ignored me all day. I thought maybe you’d changed your mind about me. That you decided you didn't want me anymore and hated me for—”
“No!” I interject. “Ivy, I wanted you so bad I almost lost control! Can’t you see that? I've wanted you since the day we found you. That’s the problem.”
She doesn't pull away, just takes a thoughtful breath. “Problem? Is that why you thought the first time had to happen while I was asleep. Like I wouldn't give it to you if you’d just asked. Are you ashamed of me?”
The air leaves my lungs, chest caving. “You don’t understand, Ivy. I can’t control myself with you. The thoughts that go through my head… the things I want to do. You would be disgusted,” I choke out.
Ivy frowns. “You don’t know that.” She looks down at our hands for a moment, golden hair brushing her purple cheek. “Finding out you wanted me so badly that you almost lost control. It's… reassuring, actually. I would let you do all kinds of things to me… I just want to be awake for our first time,” she says, adding a cheeky smile with the last part.
My stomach knots.She still wants me?Even after this confession?
It shouldn’t matter, but fuck, it does.
My hand cups her face automatically, careful of the swelling. She leans into the touch but then her fingers curl behind my neck, tugging me down until our foreheads meet.
Her breath is warm and steady, fanning over my mouth. Ivy’s long eyelashes flutter slowly as her gaze drops to my lips, inciting those dark thoughts in my head to start whispering.
“Show me what you want to do to me,” she says softly. “Please.”
“Now?! Ivy, no… You're injured.”
My body shakes as I fight for restraint. Which is not easy in Myles’s room.
It’s always messy, scattered with various weapons he’s been cleaning or sharpening. My peripheral vision picks up handcuffs he’s been fixing, rope he’s been untangling. But I shove those thoughts aside.
This is not what Phoenix meant when he sent me to ‘patchthings up’.
The warmth of her breath across my jaw sends goosebumps down my neck. She leans closer before I can move, lips skimming mine. Just a ghost of a kiss and my whole body riots, cock pulsing.
One inch closer and I’ll wreck her. One inch, and every nightmare I’ve been holding back becomes reality.
“You and I have both had worse than a bump on the head. I don’t need you to coddle me, Zane. I need to feel you,” she murmurs. “Show me the things you want to do.”
My cock grows but I shake my head as I stare at her, blindsided. “I’ll hurt you, Ivy,” I manage, panting hard. “You've been through enough today.”
It’s the hardest thing to say no to. But if I say yes now, I won’t be able to stop myself. Being in a better headspace is the only way I can ensure I don’t hurt her.
“I want you,” she whispers, “even if it hurts.”
Goddamn…
Chapter 40
Zane
I have to tell herno.
That's what every sane part of me is screaming as she pulls my hand to her breast, soft fingers guiding mine like it's the most natural thing in the world. As if I didn't just admit to violating her trust and becoming exactly what I've tried to protect her from.
But the look in her eyes is quickly unravelling me and I can’t peel my hand away from her supple breast.
“I want you,” she murmurs as her hand slides up my arm, “now.”
Now? When she's battered and bruised. When I've been a ghost all day and a monster the night before.
