Page 128 of Stick Side
Melody wouldn’t even try to deceive herself. She knew she had strong feelings for Ben. The problem was that the fire she feltfor him could just as soon burn her to ashes as create the most glorious fireworks. Despite how much she cared for him, she wasn’t sure if she was prepared for everything that being with him entailed.
Being with Ben meant not only being in a relationship with him, but also with his celebrity status. It wasn’t what she wanted, but it couldn’t be helped. And she needed to make her life decisions based on what was rather than what she wished might be.
After her initial shock over the distressing allegations against Ben had worn off, Melody had felt confident the tabloid’s accusations had been false. She knew Ben wasn’t the type of man who would father a child and then leave its mother to fend for herself. That wasn’t who he was. Quite frankly, she didn’t think he was even the type of man who would choose to engage in a one-night stand. It wasn’t his style. Even still, reading that headline had sliced through her heart like a lancet. And that was after scant months of knowing each other. How much worse would a similar event hurt after years of romantic involvement?
If she chose to continue being in a relationship with Ben, how often would she have to read false accusations splashed across the headlines? And worse still, what if, heaven forbid, he ever did cheat on her? Not only would she be stuck with a broken heart, she’d have to suffer the indignity of having her private life photographed by the paparazzi and speculated about by the press.
Her parents might have fairly high-profile jobs, but neither was so famous that the media had ever taken any interest in her. She didn’t think she’d ever even accidentally made it into the background of a published photo before becoming involved with Ben. Being tabloid fodder was a new experience for Melody, and she didn’t like it one bit.
Ben was a special man. The very best type of special. She knew that with unquestionable certainty. But was their chemistry really so unique that it was worth living her life under a microscope?
Melody’s lips twisted wryly as she re-examined the prospect of being on a dating show. She had already thoroughly explored her feelings for Contestant Number One, but how about Contestants Number Two and Three?
Melody instantly dismissed the idea of ever pursuing a romantic relationship with Eric. Despite his recent confession, she wasn’t convinced his feelings for her were really the stuff good and healthy couples’ relationships were made of. She’d grown to love Eric as a friend and suspected that was how he felt about her, too—even if he was currently questioning it. If that weren’t enough, a relationship with him would carry the same headaches a relationship with Ben would, only worse, since unlike Ben, Eric actually did have a reputation for dating around. And that was the polite way to put it.
And then there was Nolan. On paper, he was perfect for her. He was kind, funny, smart, thoughtful, and engaging. He made her laugh. He also shared many of her interests and ambitions. And yet, as much as she liked and respected him—and thought he could star in his own television sitcom based on his good looks alone—there were no sparks. There was no excitement when he was near, no promise of fireworks when they touched. But maybe that kind of chemistry could develop over time. If not, maybe it was overrated anyway.
Guilt niggled at Melody for even contemplating her potential interest in Nolan. It was a delicate line she was walking. She wasn’t trying to date Nolan and had been clear with him that she wasn’t romantically available right now, but here she was heading over to meet him for what could essentially be termed a date, while contemplating what it might be like to be in arelationship with him. And yet, thoughts weren’t actions, she rationalized. As for their outing, she would have planned the same type of evening with a female friend. That made it perfectly above board, right? Although, none of her female friends had ever expressed a romantic interest in her. Did that make her meeting with Nolan somehow less appropriate? The whole thing was enough to give her a headache.
Melody took a deep breath and consciously noted the stunning cityscape around her. She tried to make use of the calming device of engaging all her senses.
She heard the sound of traffic whizzing by. It was the auditory background against which she heard the rustling of shopping bags and the jingle of Christmas bells from street-corner Santas while voices both soft and loud peppered the air.
She saw a gentle dusting of snow fall, but not settle, on her lightweight parka. She barely had time to note their unique crystalline shapes before they melted away, giving a subtle shine to the matte finish of her jacket.
A hot dog vendor chuckled at her as he watched her try to catch a snowflake on her mittened hands before passing a waiting customer a Chicago dog that had been “dragged through the garden,” or topped with mustard, neon-green relish, onions, sport peppers, sliced tomato, pickle spears, and celery salt, served on a steamed poppy-seed bun. The pungent, zesty scent hit her nose with such intensity she could practically taste it. While not something she fancied eating herself, there was something about the unique aroma and flavor profiles of an “all the way” Chicago dog that made her want to get into the kitchen and see what kind of facsimile she might be able to come up with. Something that would pay proper tribute to the city that she’d come to love, but maybe not threaten her arteries so much.
As Melody focused on her exhalation, she felt enveloped by the vibrant city of Chicago. She’d only been here for a year, but there was something about it that just felt like home to her.
Chicago felt so much like home that she couldn’t imagine ever leaving. And that right there was yet another possible complication of her relationship with Ben. He could be traded at virtually any time. Would she be prepared to leave Chicago—and with it her family, friends, and job—if he were forced to relocate in order to play for another team? Would a trade be the end of their relationship or would she be willing to upend her life as she knew it to be with him? Alternatively, would she be prepared to live apart during the season? Her parents had managed to weather those kinds of difficulties. Maybe she could, too, but was that the kind of relationship she wanted? One where she rarely saw her partner for the bulk of the year?
No wonder she was questioning the viability of her relationship with Ben. It held many considerable obstacles. But didn’t all relationships, in their own way?
Thoughts, fears, and rationalizations swirled around Melody’s head until the headache that had started moments ago began to beat double time.
She lifted a hand to massage her aching skull. Why did relationships have to be so complicated?
In what felt like no time at all, Melody found herself crossing West 19th Street and walking through the entrance to the museum.
Nolan was easy to spot. He stood off to the side of the ticket booth with his coat draped over one arm. He must not have been there for long since he still wore his scarf and beanie. Even from across the room, Melody could see what amazing things the earthy brown hues did for his already captivating ice-blue eyes.
Nolan appeared to brighten when he noticed her. He waved in acknowledgment before walking over.
“Hey,” he called out in greeting when he was still a few strides away. “It’s nice to see you.”
“You, too,” Melody responded as she leaned in for a friendly hug.
“Are you all set?” Nolan asked as Melody followed his lead and removed her coat.
“I think so,” she responded. “Just let me line up and grab a ticket.”
“Already taken care of,” Nolan disclosed, whipping out two tickets.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she observed with just a touch of unease at his date-like behavior. “I could have bought my own ticket.”
“I know,” Nolan acknowledged, “but I wanted to.”
“Okay,” Melody acquiesced. “But dinner is on me.”
