Page 31 of Dating After the End of the World
He shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced at his feet, his usual bravado being replaced with ... shyness?
“I feel like I owe you for your handiwork,” I said as I disappeared around the side of my truck and grabbed my backpack from the passenger seat. I quickly tried to fish money out of the front pocket before I rejoined him.
“How about ice cream instead?” he said.
I froze, my hand still buried in my bag as I let the reality of his question sink in. Slowly lifting my head, I met his gaze, seeing his faint smile and the hope in his eyes that was screaming “Please say yes.”
I should have said no. I shouldn’t have even given him a chance to get close to me. But for some reason, some part of me didn’t want to say no. Another part of me wouldn’t let me say yes either.
So instead, I landed on “Sure.”
Thatsureled to me letting my guard down, which hurt me far worse than all the bullying ever did. Regardless of the circumstances or how many years have passed, I won’t allow Blake to ever have the chance to hurt me like that again.
“Some people never change, Dad, and he’s one of them,” I say.
“You can’t live with hate in your heart, Casey. It’s not healthy.”
“You’re only saying that becauseyoulike him.”
“No, I’m saying that because I mean it. Animosity hurts you, not the person it’s directed at. It’s like poison, but you’re the only one consuming it.”
“Why are you always taking Blake’s side? You’re supposed to be my dad. Not his. You’re supposed to protect me. Not him.”
“Casey, that’s not fair—” he interrupts.
“Fair!? I’ll tell you what’s not fair.”
My aunt and uncle have stopped shooting. Their necks crane in our direction, and they watch as I explode with anger. I don’t care, though, because an audience isn’t going to stop me from saying what I need to say.
“It’s not fair that my childhood was simultaneously ruined both at school and at home. It’s not fair that I was in fear of getting on the bus or driving to school every day because the only thing waiting for me was ridicule and humiliation. Even the closing bell didn’t save me, because I had to come home to my doomsday-prepping father and perform endless manual labor. And it’s sure as hell not fair that you gave me nothing to look forward to in life, because you told me every single day that the goddamn world was going to end!”
My voice stops, leaving behind a reverberation nearly as loud as a gunshot. My shoulders rise and fall, matching my small, quick breaths as I work off the built-up energy from my rant. Dad lowers his head and lets out a heavy sigh like he doesn’t know what to say or how to fix this. There is no fixing this. There’s no going back. There are no redos. It just is what it is. He was right. And I hate him for that, but I love him for it too. Dad uncrosses his arms and meets my gaze.
“Hit me,” he says.
“What?” I step back, confused and surprised by his request, given everything I just said. “No.”
“Come on.” He beckons with his hands. “We can kill two birds with one stone here. You need to train anyways, so you’ll be ready to go on a run, and I can see how mad and upset you are with me. So come on. Let’s get that anger out. Fight me,” he says, squaring up and planting his feet shoulder width apart.
“No, I’m not gonna fight you,” I scoff. “You’re old. It’d be, like, elder abuse.”
“Hey! I am far from old.” Dad bounces on his feet.
“Whatever you say.” I roll my eyes. “But I’m still not gonna fight you.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s weird. And just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I wanna hurt you.”
“Oh, I don’t think you’ll be hurting me at all.” He smirks.
“I know what you’re doing, Dad. Reverse psychology won’t work on me,” I say, shaking my head.
He lowers his boxing hands and shrugs. “Guess Blake was right about you not being ready. Such a shame because I thought I raised a fighter.”
I step to him and deliver a slow hook to his side. He hops back and slaps my arm away, grinning from ear to ear. “Come on! You can do better than that. Full speed!” His feet shift like a boxer’s as he works himself up with excitement.
“Okay, old man.”
