Page 55 of Dating After the End of the World
The room goes silent. My dad’s words hang in the air like a fog too dense to see through. Everyone’s minds are racing with permutations as to how a hospital run could turn out. One dead? Two? Three? Four? The worst-case scenario for doing the right thing makes the math uneven, cosmically weighing out whose life is worth more.
“Might,” I say, cutting through everyone’s thoughts, grounding them back on what we need to do.
My dad has a look of confusion on his face from my one-word response. “Might?” he confirms.
“You asked how many peoplemightend up dead. Elaine doesn’t havemight. Elaine hasdefinite, an absolute outcome in her future. People might get hurt or die trying to get her medicine, sure, but that risk is there on every run anyway. If we don’t do this, then there’s no chance for her to survive, and you may as well start digging her grave now. So think about that before you say no.” My eyes are unblinking as I scan the table, waiting for someone to challenge me.
“I hear you, Casey. I really do, and I know you aren’t wrong, but the risk is far too great. We don’t even know if the hospital will have insulin—and then, let’s say we do find some, how much will we find? Enough to keep her healthy for a month? Six months? A year? Elaine wouldn’t want us to take the risk, especially if it could end up costing someone their life. So the answer is no.” My dad pounds his fist against the table, punctuating the end of his speech.
The room falls silent again as we look around at one another, waiting to see whether anyone will challenge my dad’s declaration. I just need one person to be on my side. But as time drags on, it’s clear to me that they’re either too afraid to challenge the man who’s keeping them all safe or too afraid to put their lives on the line for another. Either way, I have no support, and neither does Elaine. But I don’t need it.
“Fine.” I stand, glaring at each of them. “I’ll go by myself.”
My gaze lingers on Blake because I’m sure he’s about to challenge me, declare that I need more training, that I’m a liability, or that I’ll only get myself killed, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he nods and stands.
“I’ll go with you.”
I’m surprised, but in a good way. My face relaxes, my expression replaced, I suspect, by a look of gratitude, one I share only with Blake as I tune out the rest of the people in the room.
My father rises from his chair, puffing out his chest and lifting his chin. “No! I won’t allow it. Casey, I can’t—”
“Dad! Enough!” I yell. He freezes in place, and the whites of his eyes show. “I know you want to keep me safe, and I know you’re afraid of losing me, but don’t let that fear cloud your judgment or stop you from doing the right thing.” I walk over to him, pressing my hand against his chest, feeling his beating heart. “If Mom were here, what would she do, Dad?”
Looking up into my father’s eyes, I can see a sadness, not in the loss that already happened, and not for fear of losing me, but a sadness with himself, for even suggesting that we don’t try and save Elaine. He presses his lips firmly together and lets his head fall forward. “Okay. I’ll go, but I need you to stay here.”
I shake my head and step back. “No, I’m going.”
“She’s right, Dale.” Blake takes his place beside me. “She’s the only one who knows her way around the hospital, and she knows what we’re looking for. It’ll be quicker and safer if she comes with.”
My dad closes his eyes and exhales, shaking his head as he tries to think of a way to change what needs to be done. But in the end, he knows this is the best chance we have.
“When do we need to go?” Blake asks.
“Tomorrow,” I say. “She only has enough insulin for two more days. If the first hospital is a bust, then at least it gives us another day to search another.”
“Fine, then the six of us will prep to go tomorrow,” Dad says, giving in.
“We shouldn’t all go,” Blake argues. “We need people to stay back in case something like what happened the other day happens again.”
“Well, I’m not staying back,” my dad says.
“Me neither.” Greg stands.
Soon the whole room has declined to stay back, finding the courage that I wish had been there minutes ago.
“Two of us should stay back, so let’s figure out who,” Blake says.
“We can draw straws,” Dad suggests. “That’s the only fair way of deciding.”
Uncle Jimmy gets up from his chair and heads into the kitchen to get them.
“I’m not drawing straws,” I say, making my stance clear.
“Fine. The rest of us will then.” Dad nods, a look of sadness taking over his face.
Uncle Jimmy returns. Five straws stick out of his closed fist, the tops all even while the bottoms are hidden within his hand. “Shortest two stay back.”
