Page 36 of Destroyed Desire
“The King isn’t just my ruler. He’s my closest friend. A brother. I was there when the Queen gave birth to accept and welcome the infant’s energy to Tala Furi. And it devastates me to think now, only a short time later, I will have to send her energy back to the cosmos. It is a sacred act, one which I’m honor to perform even as it tears my hearts out.”
She’s quiet for a while. “There is so much that I don’t know about you, your traditions, and your people.”
I take her hand and hold it over my hearts. “You will learn and become accustomed, if that is your wish.”
She falls silent again. I can tell many thoughts swirl in her mind.
“I’m very sorry for the King and Queen. And for you. I lost my mother a few months ago and that was really difficult to get through. I can’t imagine losing a child.”
I kiss her hand. “Death releases our energies back into the universe, where it came from. In a sense, our deceased are all around us. In the sky. In the stars. In the cosmic dust that glows brilliantly at night.”
She smiles and it warms me. “That’s a nice way to think about it.”
“It is the truth. Energy cannot be destroyed. It feeds our souls and mechanizes our bodies. Upon death, the energy is released. Sometimes it needs help leaving the body, such as with children or those who die suddenly. I must help them.”
“Wow. So you’re a portal master and a ghost whisperer.”
Fern slips beneath the water and comes back up with a yawn. The day grows late, and I have tired her with my body. Picking her up from the pool, I dry her lovely curves with a cloth and take her to my bed. She crawls in without a single complaint but holds her hand to me. Beckoning me.
I kiss her on the temple. “I am sorry, but I must return to the King. Sleep well. I’ll return soon.”
She nods, closing her eyes and I believe she is sleeping before I’m even dressed. Breeze comes in from the back rooms through the open windows. It’s warm and soothing, so I leave them open while making sure Fern is well covered so she doesn’t get cold.
“Gam.” Her soft voice reaches out to me.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“Can the portal be opened?”
Her eyes remain closed, her body soft and relaxed. I am glad she is not looking at me.
“Perhaps.”
It’s only a half-truth.
The full truth is that I do not want to lose her. In all my years, I have chosen not to take a mate, focusing instead on my work for the Queen and King. Finding my one true fated mate didn’t seem possible and yet, here she is. Fern has found me. Our energies align so perfectly. How cruel are the fates to send her to me now?
When I’m about to do something that can’t be undone?
The King’s child is being cared for by the doctors. Comfortable that I will be summoned if needed, I go to the tactical center inside the palace and slip into the surveillance room. My attention turns to a large screen which shows multiple views of Maneshha’s compounds. All seems quiet for the moment, so I pull up the footage Derlix and I watched earlier. Zooming in allows me to see people milling around inside the confines. Ultra-zoom allows me to see their faces. Sad, defeated. Hopeless. They are not getting what they thought they would when they followed Maneshha away from us. The few people who returned had nothing encouraging to say about their time in her compound.
When it became obvious that she could not manipulate portals, she promised to begin raiding within our system, just as Derlix had said. Something had happened in between those promises to cause unrest within her tribe. Instead of allowing them to leave, she is forcing them to stay. How long until there is a mutiny and how many of our people will die if there is?
I cannot allow that to happen.
But my body sings from Fern’s touch and everything inside me begs to return to bed and have her again. How can I? How can I not?
She is mine and I wish her to stay. Now that my powers as portal master have changed, I can begin a new life. Instead of mapping portals, I can focus on the museum, have a mate. A child. My mind strays to Fern making a home inside my rooms, her belly large with my offspring. Would I have a son who will someday harness cosmic power?
It is not possible! Cursing myself, I cut the thoughts from my mind. I have a mission to fulfill, one that will likely remove me from this life. Unless there is another way…
Leaving the room, I consider how I can do what needs to be done while still having what I desire the most. The solution may not be obvious but there has to be one. Licking my lips, I get a full taste of my little human. Myaxastirs and my arms ache to hold her. Losing my willpower, I’m about to turn toward my rooms when a rush of footsteps from the other direction pulls my attention.
“Anaash, this came for you.”
A servant offers me a brown package tied in metallic ribbon. Strange. It is dark now, the city, quiet. Not normally the time for deliveries to the palace.
Pulling the ribbon, I part the sections of paper to reveal what is inside. With a hard intake of breath, I clench a fist and curse.
