Page 98 of Storms & Sacrifice
“Fuck.” The wind is knocked out of me again. I knew that I would probably kill someone someday, but never so many, not all at once. Notlike this.
“David, you were not incontrol—”
“Except I told you that I was.” I can’t even look at him. “I remember all of it. I remember feeling angry.Soangry. That they had hurt you, that they had tried to kill Nylan. For everything. Even after I stopped them, when Glasha and Ragnar were trying to talk to me, I couldn’t turn it off. It was like I couldn’t hear them. All I could think was that I needed to protect you, and they were in my way, and if they wouldn’tmove, I—”
“Ah!” Khazak pulls his hand out of mine with a hiss after I squeezetoo hard.
“I’m sorry.” I pull away from him entirely.What is wrong with me?
“It is alright.” He quickly retakes my hand, pulling me back into his space. “Even if youwereaware of what was happening, something else was still the cause of youractions.”
The mention ofsomething elsedraws my attention back to the deadly weapon in the corner of the room. “Why is that thing here?” I point.
“After I spoke with the council, it was decided that given it’s relation to the events, the sword should go with you.” Khazak nods at the sword in question. “It is now yours.”
“I don’t want it.” Even looking at it makes me uncomfortable.
“I understand why you feel distressed with its presence.” He offers me a sad smile. “But it is without a doubt connected to whatever happened to you in the temple. It could be the key to solving it. You do not have to use it, but you do need to take itwith you.”
I know he’s right, but I don’t want him to be. I don’t ever wanna see that thing again. “Do you think I could just be alone for a little while?”
“Of course.” I expect a flash of hurt to cross his face, but there’s just understanding. “I am going to go find you some food. I will be back a little later. Please, try not to wallow or allow yourself to feel guilty about this. Despite how terrible your actions might seem, they still saved us. If you had not been there, Nylan and Ragnar might be dead. We all could be.” With a final hand squeeze, he stands, puts his chair back against the wall, and exitsthe room.
I know he said not to, but as soon as I’m alone, I spend the first twenty or so minutes wallowing. I just can’t stop thinking about it, no matter how hard I try. Getting attacked at the camp, running through the forest at night, the “interrogation” in the temple... I can feel the anger starting to rise up in me again, and I have to take a few deep breaths to calm down. When the flashes of violence start popping in, I wish I had something to distract me.
The doctor comes back in at some point to run some tests: heart rate, breathing, that sort of thing. Just making sure I’m still healthy. About an hour after he left, Khazak returns with foodandNylan, who it turns out is impossible to feel sad around. He spends lunch distracting me with horror stories from work, followed by reading me some of his favorite and most ridiculous romance novel passages. During the rest of the afternoon, my other friends pop in and out, and the doctor runs her tests again until finally, just before sunset, she lets me go home.
We end up grabbing dinner with my friends at Rurig’s restaurant,Bauzi’kro, before going home. Rurig isn’t working tonight, but the food’s still great. It’s actually nice to just sit down and have a meal with my friends, something I didn’t realize I would miss. I forget about my problems for a little while and just laugh and joke around. Before we leave, we make plans to meet up in the afternoon tomorrow for one last round of shopping before we leave the next morning.
You’d think that after spending almost five full days asleep, I’d be full of energy, but after dinner, all I want to do is go home. I feel drained, and on top of that, not terribly sexy, but seeing as we only have maybe 36 hours left, I feel bad asking Khazak if he’d just read to me while we sit on the couch together. He doesn’t look disappointed if he was hoping for more, and as he recounts the tale of Khazak Steelrun to me, I nod off againsthis chest.
A public funeral is held the following morning for Orim, Wu’dag, and the other victims of the Order’s attacks. It’s a somber affair, a small procession of rangers followed by High Priest Bhok leading a prayer. I don’t bother trying to hold in my tears. All I can think about is how my friend should still be here. That and how much I’m going to enjoy hunting down Redwish and making him payfor this.
After the funeral, Orim’s family is holding atrakul, which is basically a wake, but more cheerful. People are still crying, but it’s accompanied with smiles and laughter as everyone shares stories from Orim’s life. I learn about the first time he went fishing from his father (he tripped and fell in the river), how afraid he was of horses when he was little from his mother (he wouldliterallyhide under her skirt when they got too close), and his terrible first date as a teenager from his older brother (he thought he was stood up, but he was at the wrong restaurant). Even translated, hearing these stories makes me smile. They also make me sad that he didn’t get the chance to tell me any of them himself. That he won’t get to make anymore.
I have a few hours before I need to meet my friends, so we head home around noon. I’m full from all the food they had at the wake, so all I really wanna do is relax. I don’t say this, but I also want to get in as much alone time with Khazak as I can. This is our last day and night together. When I ask if he’ll read to me more, he just smiles and pulls me into him on the couch. I find myself trying to memorize the sound of his voice, afraid it will be the lastI hear it.
Eventually, it’s time to go, and with a frown, I get dressed so I can meet with my friends. I eye the sword—theHarpeis what I called it during my rampage—sitting in the corner of the room with hesitation. I really wish I didn’t have to bring that thing, but Khazak’s right, it’s definitely connected to all this. I bring my shortsword, so I can find a second one that will balance with it well, but I’m happy to leave this one here for now.
Before I meet my friends in the marketplace, there’s one stop we need to make: Brull. It’s not that I don’t want the man around my team, it’s that I don’t want my team aware of Brull’s shop or what he sells. The door to the store is open when Khazak and I get there, only a single customer inside browsing. When Brull sees us enter, he walks around the counter and hugs me hard enough to lift me off the ground.
“I am gonna miss you, pup,” the orc tells me while squeezing the lifeout of me.
“I’ll miss you too, sir,” I reply when I can breathe again.
“I believe this is yours.” He pushes a small cloth bag into my hand, and when I open it, I am greeted with the sight of the puppy tail plug I woreon stage.
“Thank you, sir.” I blush as I squeeze the small bag into my pocket. I’ll have to make sure I hide thatreallywell. I’m not sure I could bring myself to getrid of it.
“You better come back to visit.” He pokes me in the chest. “At least for the nextfestival.”
“I will. I promise.” I nod. I’m going to try,at least.
There’s some small talk after that, but I know I’m just stalling, so I finally say my goodbyes. Just as I turn to leave, expecting Khazak to follow, hestops me.
“I think you should go and meet with your friends alone.” He gives me a sad smile. “You will be preparing for your journey, and I would only get in the way. Besides, you likely want to start getting back into the mindset of being a team, right?”
“Yeah, right.” I try not to sound disappointed at hisdismissal.
