Page 6 of Accidentally Falling for Her
ASPEN
OCTOBER
Freshman Year
Ishould refuse. I should laugh it off as a joke, or say they’re idiots for basically daring us to kiss like we’re children who will fold at the slightest suggestion of peer pressure.
But Sage’s bright green gaze is clear as she softly smiles at me, waiting, and… I can’t refuse her. As much as I know I should, I can’t pass up the opportunity for this one kiss. I know I won’t have this option again, and I don’t want to regret not taking it. Maybe that’s what I’ve needed all this time—a kiss. Kisses were always the answer in fairy tales, right? I can confirm that kissing Sage is just like kissing anyone else, and then I can move the fuck on from this crush.
“Could be fun,” I echo back to her. Her whole facelights up, giving me the confidence to lean in. I pause to give Sage time to change her mind, but she doesn’t.
She leans in even closer, meeting me halfway. Her mouth finds mine in a soft, sweet kiss that lasts only a few moments—our closed lips pressed together in a way that feels like such a tease of what I’d really love to have happen. Her soft lips leave mine tingling as she pulls back.
See, that was lovely. But that was barely even a kiss. No big deal, just like she said. I can appreciate the innocent moment for what it was, and have the memory to look back on. A confirmation that there could never be anything more with Sage, no matter how many times I might fantasize about it.
Except, she doesn’t pull away completely like I was expecting. Just enough to shift her hips slightly, turning to face me even more despite how close we already are on the small couch. Then her hand is cupping my jaw, angling my face where she wants me, and she’s bringing our lips together again.
This time is different.
This doesn’t feel innocent or sweet. This is the real thing. Her lips are so fucking soft as they move against mine, and that lavendar coconut scent that’s so uniquely Sage overwhelms me for a moment. I’m mirroring each movement of her mouth with my own.
I’m distantly aware that one of my hands is now on her thigh, the other resting softly on the side of her face. I shiftto her hair, loving the feel of the soft strands sliding through my fingers as I hold her closer.
I know I should pull away; this is far more than I could have dared hope for. But Sage is deepening the exchange, her tongue sliding into my mouth, exploring and teasing. She’s confident as she turns this into a full-on make out session. Sage lets out a soft moan, and I feel like I’m dying. Like I must already be dead. Because there is no way that my dream girl is making that noise while kissing me, and is still claiming to be straight.
This has to be my personal version of hell.
Sage is everything I could ever hope for in a partner: endlessly kind, so fucking smart, somehow optimistic and happy no matter the situation. She’s also funny and creative. She makes me want to be a better person, to deserve all the time she gives me. I want to be worthy of my title as her best friend.I want to be so much more than that.
All those attributes presented to me in the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen—it has to be some cruel joke from the universe that she’s now passionately kissing me, but that it doesn’t actually mean anything.I must have done something horrible in another life to deserve this fate.
Is this what Eve felt like in that bible story after she had a taste of the forbidden fruit? Suddenly aware of the good and evil in the world, and doomed to be punished forever because of that knowledge. How can I possibly move on from the feelings I’ve been harboring now that my eyes are opened to just how amazing it is to be with her in this newway? I’ll be haunted by the knowledge that everything I’d ever want is just out of reach.
I let out a shocked inhale as her chest brushes against my sensitive nipples, and I realize we’ve eliminated what little space there had initially been between us. I pull back fully. That wasn’t a short kiss. The guys around us are still letting out amused hoots and cheers, and I glance at Arthur, who looks just as shocked as I feel.
“See, kissing friends is great,” Sage announces, giggling, and I turn back to meet her radiant smile.
I know I’ll probably come to regret what just happened between us. It meant far more to me than Sage will ever know, and that’s not fair to her. But with Sage staring at me so brightly, those feelings of regret or remorse are nowhere to be seen. A part of me doesn’t believe that it really even happened. I can’t help but laugh and smile back at her, confirming, “Yeah, Sage, that was pretty great.”
I don’t think I’ll ever truly regret the kiss. It was easily the best of my life. The closest that I’ve ever come to that feeling of magic I’m always chasing from those childhood fairy tale versions of romance. I’m grateful to have experienced that with someone so special.
Even if I’m now more desperate than ever for more from my straight best friend.
6
SAGE
OCTOBER
Freshman Year
The timer goes off, and I quickly work to transfer the plasmid DNA into the micro-tube with a positive marking on it that’s floating in my container of ice. Then I set another timer for ten minutes.
Today we’re learning about bacterial transformation and genetic engineering using a protein from bioluminescent jellyfish. I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to witness firsthand how amazing science can be. My Monday morning biology lab is one of my favorite classes and is such a great way to start my week.
I label my agar plates, double-check that my notes are complete and my work station is clean and prepared for the next step, before my mind starts to wander to how great thispast weekend was. The charity 5K our sorority hosted yesterday was a huge success, and we were able to raise thousands of dollars toward cancer research. Most of the Greek Life participants were probably hungover, but we had a bunch of snacks, and everyone who ran got a T-shirt, so that always attracts a crowd.
The party we went to Saturday night was also so much fun. I loved getting to meet more of Arthur’s friends, and any night spent with Aspen is a good one. I’ve wondered since I met them if they might be hiding feelings for each other, and the way Arthur seemed so invested when I kissed Aspen has me convinced it’s only a matter of time before he finally works up the courage to ask her out properly.
