Page 21 of Accidentally Falling for Her
“I’m so sorry if I made you think you had to stay tonight…” the sweet man starts, making me like him even more.
I cut him off, not wanting him to stress, offering what I hope is a reassuring smile. “No, don’t worry. You didn’t pressure me at all or do anything wrong.”
He lets out a deep breath, obviously relieved, though still looking very confused.
“Parker, can I trust you?” I ask, suddenly worried that this is going to blow up in my face and end with him telling Oakley and Sage everything.
He pauses to think, and I appreciate that he seems to understand the gravity of my question. “You’ve only reallyknown me for a day, so I’m not sure how much you should believe me,” he starts. “If you’re asking as a polite way to protect sensitive information, though, I can assure you I’m trustworthy, and I give you my word I won’t share your secrets,” he promises.
I laugh at his formal answer, both relieved and genuinely amused by how literal Parker is at times. “You’re going to be fun,” I mutter. “Can you sit down so we can talk?”
Once he’s seated in his office chair facing me, he sits up straighter and nods. “Alright, what would you like to tell me?”
“I’d just like to start off by saying that I really did have a great time tonight,” I ramble.
“Me too,” he agrees easily.
I hesitate, biting my lip.What if I’m wrong. What if he says no?But I won’t know if I don’t ask. “I really liked that we could all hang out together, and it’s clear that you and Oakley are really close, like Sage and I.”
“Yeah, it’s nice to have someone who understands our friendship,” he agrees.
I look at him expectantly, hoping that maybe he’ll admit his feelings for Oakley without me even having to ask, but he doesn’t.
I take one final steading breath and go for it. “Fuck it, I won’t know if I’m too afraid to say it, so I’m just going to ask. Parker, do you have feelings for Oakley?”
Luckily he doesn’t seem offended by the question,although the amusement on his face and the short laugh he lets out aren’t what I was expecting either.
“No, Aspen, it’s not like that, and it never has been,” he says. “I thought that you of all people, with how you and Sage are, would understand that just because two people are really close, it doesn't mean they’re in love with each other.”
Fuck.
That isn’t the answer I was hoping for. I twist my ring nervously as I wait for him to connect what I’m implying.
After a few moments, it finally clicks. “Oh.You wouldn’t understand, would you?” I shake my head a few times, still smiling as I try to hide how fucking nervous I feel right now. “Because youarein love with Sage?” he clarifies, and I slowly nod, gauging his reaction.
His expression falls, and maybe I misread his lack of interest because he does seem disappointed. But that still doesn’t feel right.
“Thank you for trusting me with that,” he starts, and those words calm my racing heart just a bit. He isn’t about to yell at me for lying to him or run into the next room to tell Sage. “Does she know?” he asks gently.
“God no, I can’t tell her,” I rush out.
He thinks about that for a moment before answering. “Are you worried that she won’t feel the same way?”
I wish that were the case.
I wish that any part of me could believe that shemightfeel the same way. That hope would be so much better thanthe reality. I never even had a chance. “I know she won’t, she isn’t…” I trail off, looking around the room as I try to think about how to explain everything. “Even if she did think about other girls that way, which she doesn’t, we’re both from traditional southern families. They would never approve, and I’d never ask her to give up her family or their money for me.”
“Your family would cut you off if they found out you were dating a woman?” he repeats.
I can’t help but scoff as I think about just how complicated my being in the closet really is. “Yup. My father is a politician in a very conservative state,” I tell him. “There’s also millions of dollars I’ll lose access to if I don’t marry a man soon.” Then I decide he already knows this much, I might as well tell him everything. Other than Arthur, I’ve never had to really come out to someone. I’ve used hookup apps, met people in queer bars, but I didn’t have to come out to anyone then. It might be nice to be able to talk about it.
“I’ve just never been attracted to men,” I admit. “I’ve tried to make something work with boyfriends in the past for my parent’s sake, but I’m not built for that. My parents have been trying to get me to move back to Georgia for years to marry their friends’ son.”
“That’s horrible,” he blurts out.
I knew I liked him.
“I know,” I agree. “His dad is my father’s campaign manager, and they’ve always wanted him to take over when my father retires. They’ve been trying to set me up with himsince we were kids. It started as more subtle suggestions about how great he is, that we would be good together. He’s a great guy, we’re still friends, but now that I’m almost thirty it’s like they think I’m an old spinster, and they’re relentless. They’ve been threatening to cut off my access to my trust fund if I don’t move home soon, saying the money is intended for my family and that I shouldn’t be able to use it until I have a husband and children of my own.”
