Page 106 of Take My Name
“I can’t help thinkin’ I’m to blame for some of this,” I admit softly.
After we fought this morning, he was probably distracted, stressed, or both. As far as I’m aware, this hasn’t happened before because Warren’s good at his job. Always has been.
“I’m so sorry, Warren. For everythin’.” Tears cloud my vision, so I close my eyes and rest my head against our combined hands.
After a few minutes of silence, I can’t take it anymore. I hate that he probably can’t hear me, but I speak anyway.
“Do you remember that box I kept our notes, photos, and other mementos from high school? I kinda forgot about it until I came back and saw it on my bookcase. Anyway, I went through it and found the vows you wrote on our weddin’ day and cried over every word you wrote. I can’t believe I forgot how beautiful it was. Maybe I blocked it out so I could push away my feelings after years of tryin’ to move on. Rereading it was heartwrenchin’ now knowin’ how much you truly meant your words. I can’t believe I was able to walk away after that. It actually makes mesick and mad at myself. I had my reasons at the time, but still, it blows my mind.”
I look at his eyes, willing them to open, and frown when they don’t.
“I can’t help thinkin’ there’s a reason for everything that’s happened. Maybe we needed the time apart so I could stand on my own two feet and get clarity on what truly makes me happy. Maybe we would’ve ended up in a bitter divorce had I stayed and resented you. I hate thinkin’ that I would’ve but knowin’ who I was in my younger twenties, it makes me wonder. Or worse, you would’ve resented me. Kinda surprised you don’t already. You’d have every right to.”
“Warren would never resent you.”
I nearly jump out of my chair at the voice behind me.
Spinning around, I find Silas in the doorway. I haven’t seen him since I’ve been back, but wow, he’s changed a lot. Both of his arms are covered with ink and his dark facial hair isn’t new, but it’s thicker than Warren’s.
“Holy fuck, you scared me.” I press a palm to my chest and feel how fast my heart’s racing.
He pushes off the wall and walks inside. “Sorry, I was tryin’ to figure out a way to let you know I was here.”
“That was one way to do it,” I say in an aspirated laugh.
He stands on the other side of Warren. “Bodie called me a bit ago, but I was an hour out of town, so I rushed here as soon as I could. Any update?”
“Not really. Just waitin’ for him to wake up.”
Silas grabs the extra chair and takes his other hand.
“Hopefully, me being here doesn’t traumatize him more.”
“No, he’d be happy you’re here. I dunno what happened between y’all, but he texted me thismornin’.”
That makes me tense. “What’d he say?”
“Not much, honestly. Just that he signed the papers and when I asked him about havin’ seven days, he said there was a change of plans. I offered to leave work early so we could hang out, but he said he wanted to drink alone. I shoulda pushed him to take the afternoon off instead, but he mentioned choppin’ wood to restock his pile, and I stupidly cracked a joke about callin’ me if he needed a ride to the ER. Ya know, presumably because he was gonna be choppin’ wood while angry and drunk.”
“Oh my God…” My eyes stretch wider with each sentence he speaks.
The guilt on his face makes me feel bad.
“He shouldn’t be handlin’ an axe while drinkin’ anyway,” I say, comforting him the best I can.
“I doubt he was gonna or I would’ve intervened. Most likely he would’ve been out there until his arms hurt or drank alone with his chickens.”
“He does have a weird obsession…as if he gave birth to ’em and they’re his children.”
Silas chuckles, and so do I. It feels good after crying most of the afternoon.
“You met ’em yet?” he asks.
“No, he was supposed to introduce ’em to me before our date tonight.” I rub the pad of my thumb over his knuckles.
“Indiana Jane is my favorite. She’s spunky.”
I can’t help the burst of laughter that falls out of my mouth. “And I thought Kelly Cluckson was clever.”
