I pinch the bridge of my nose, exhaling through my mouth.
Do not pop a boner.
“Again…I don’t wanna know, but how the hell does that happen?” I ask.
“She dared me to do it during a drinkin’ game and then we got too drunk to remember where the remote was.”
“And too drunk to figure out how to get it outta there,” Mattie adds, tears streaming down her cheeks as she laughs. “I had to split her cheeks and slather her booty hole in baby oil.”
“You weren’t supposed to tell him that!” Delilah whisper-shouts.
“Why not? You have a nice ass. Big and round, with cute freckles on your cheeks.”
And now I’m pitching a tent.
Delilah’s face is beet red as she squeezes her eyes.
“If he ain’t gonna tap it, someone else will…” Mattie taunts, and nowmyface is red.
“Okay, here we are…” I announce, pulling into a parking spot in front of their apartment building. “I’m gonna walk y’all inside.”
“You wanna her freckles too, dontcha?” Mattie quips, nearly falling out of the truck as she opens the door.
“I wanna erase the last five minutes out of my memory,” I mutter, getting out to help them.
They loop their arms together as they skip to their door, nearly tripping and face-planting the sidewalk.
“Gimme the keys,” I say, grabbing them from Mattie’s hand.
Once I unlock the door, I wait for them to get inside and then do a quick sweep through their place to make sure nothing looks suspicious. Besides the pile of laundry on the floor and the sink full of dishes, nothing looks out of the ordinary.
“Are we safe, detective cowboy?” Delilah plops on the couch, nearly falling off on her way down.
Mattie stumbles next to her. “If you’re so worried, you can sleep in my bed tonight. I don’t bite…but I do suck.”
Delilah and her giggle, and now I know I owe Waylon the biggest apology for putting up with me over the years. Delilah too, but if this is payback, we’re even now.
“I would rather drown in hot sauce…” I say under my breath.
Standing in front of Delilah, I grip her chin so she’ll meet my gaze. “If you need anythin’, please call me. Got it?”
“Yes, sir,” she mocks with a salute.
Lord help me.
Chapter Thirteen
Delilah
With the Vegas trip this week, I’ve been packing and mentally preparing to see Wilder again. Although I saw him four days ago during my drunken escapade, I wasn’t in my right mind to think too much about how we hadn’t seen each other in two weeks before that.
I hate how much he made my heart flutter once he was done scolding me. Every time he flicked that stupid tongue piercing, I contemplated attacking his mouth again.
And the way he stormed in like a caveman, all angry and fired up, was alittlebit hot.
But I’d never admit that aloud.
I didn’t mean to get wasted at the Mexican restaurant with Mattie, but once we started drinking and my mind spiraled from the way he barged into the restaurant, I couldn’t help ordering more to calm my racing thoughts.