Page 110 of Sin With Me
Chapter Twenty-Five
Delilah
After years of being a caregiver and the one to always help anyone in need, it's nice to be taken care of for once. But I never anticipated Wilder being the one doing it.
As we rinse off in the shower, he lathers soap over every inch of my body, slowly caressing his strong hands into my muscles and gently rubbing through the knots in my back and neck. The hot water streams down our bodies from the rainfall showerhead.
"I'm never leavin' this place," I murmur, moaning when he brings his hand between my legs to wash me there.
"Why do you think they book out a year in advance? Most of their bookings are returnin' customers."
"I'm ready to move in and never leave."
"I could remodel my bathroom like this for ya if you wanted," he says from behind me. "Although, I'd love to build a house on the ranch property like Landen and Ellie. Be close to the ranch while still havin' privacy."
"You've thought about stuff like that?"
"Of course. I don't wanna live in the ranch hand quarters forever. They're nice enough for a bachelor but not nearlyenough room for a family. I want my kids to have their own rooms and plenty of room for a swing set, trampoline, or sand box. Plus, the dogs will need a yard to roam free."
I blink my eyes open, double checking the man behind me is the same man I married.
"Why're you lookin' at me like you're surprised to hear I want kids and dogs?"
"Because I recall hearin' ya say you weren't settlin' down for another twenty years. Goin' from that to this is quite the extreme."
"That's before I knew being with you was an option." He faces me and winks, shifting the shower head so it doesn't spray in our faces. "And I know we're in this thirty day trial, but you should know, I'm all in with you and want everythin' you're willin' to give me. Babies, dogs, hell, cats too. And I'm happy to give you anythin' you want—deep tub included."
"I'm still not used to this open and sweet side of you," I admit bashfully. "Sometimes I forget you're the same man I've had to pull over on the side of the road for so you could throw up after drinkin' too much."
"That was a man buryin' his pain with alcohol." He closes the gap between us, cupping my face until our lips are inches apart. "Now the only pain I have is the thought of losin' you."
I lean in, bringing our mouths together for a brief kiss. "I share that same fear, Wilder. Since the moment I heard your voice and what you'd done to yourself, it consumed my thoughts. Even years later."
"I can promise you I'll never puttin' anyone through that trauma again. I work every day to fight those demons and they're not gonna win."
"I hate that you even have to."
He brushes wet strands off my forehead, looking more vulnerable than I've ever seen him. "Therapy's been workin'nicely. The antidepressants are still new and a low dose, so it's too early to tell, but I'm hopeful for the first time in my life that I'm on the right path."
"You're takin' medication? Since when?"
"A month ago." He shrugs. "I agreed to give them a shot, but that's why I need to limit my alcohol. I gave myself a pass for Vegas but now I want to stay clean to give them a chance to work."
"I'm so proud of you for givin' yourself the best opportunity at success. The Wilder I knew a year ago would've never done this for himself."
"Your dad's death gave me a new perspective. After seeing Harlow, your mom, and you distraught and heartbroken, somethin' clicked in my mind that I needed to get help before it was too late. Before I let the darkness consume me and win. I knew I couldn't ignore it or drink the pain away for much longer."
Tears well in the corner of my eyes. Dad's suicide affected everyone, even if I could understand the chronic pain made him take that path, I'm still conflicted about my anger and sadness.
Wilder's thumbs wipe over my cheeks, catching the tears before they fall.
"I'm so sick of cryin'," I whisper. "And feelin' sad."
"Let it out, baby. You don't need to hide your pain from me."
He wraps his arms around me, pushing our bodies together, when I bury my face against his chest, the tears continue to fall.
"Thanks for makin' me feel safe," I murmur once I'm all cried out. "Not sure I've had that before."
