Page 52 of Sin With Me
I’m afraid I can’t forget it, Delly. But I’ll respect your decision and won’t bring it up again unless you do. Maybe time apart will help me get over my feelings because seeing you only makes me remember that you want me too.
I hate how dramatic that sounds, especially for me. But after nine years of what I thought was one-sided pining, I can’t go back to pretending my feelings don’t exist.
Delilah
Time apart? What’s that mean?
Wilder
It means, the next time we’ll see each other will be in Vegas…assuming I’m allowed to go.
Delilah
Are you sure that’s necessary? That’s not for three more weeks.
Wilder
I have therapy and community service to focus on anyway.
Plus, I start anger management in two days and will have to go every Thursday for two months. Then it’ll switch to every other Thursday until my review hearing.
It takes her a while to respond. The jumping dots appear and go away several times before she finally hits send.
Delilah
Fine. If that’s what you want…
I roll my eyes because I knew she’d say that. It’s a cop-out, but I didn’t give her much room to argue anyway.
Wilder
It’s not what I want but it’s what I need to do.
I’ve been able to suppress my feelings for years because I never thought she’d return them. However, knowing she does but won’t do anything about it means I need to try getting over her for good. I’ll never be able to move on otherwise.
Chapter Ten
Delilah
It’s not what I want but it’s what I need to do.
His message has been on repeat in my head for the past week.
Wilder and I originally had plans last Saturday to go on a trail ride, but he never showed up. I assume he had to go to the shelter, but I somewhat expected him to text me and let me know. It was a long shot after what he said, but I still held out hope he would.
My feelings for him are complicated and not black and white. There’s a huge gray area of our past that we’ve never discussed. On top of everything else that concerns me about us beingmorethan friends, I can’t forget the countless one-night stands he’s had over the years.
He’s never shown any interest in having a relationship. That night at the bar, he even said he had another twenty years before he’d settle down. Even though he’d been drinking and talking shit, there’s some truth to his words that he can’t see himself being happy with one woman for the rest of his life.
So why would I assume I’m any different?
My attraction to him goes deeper than his looks. Even further than his ability to be charming and seductive. It’s been there since before we met in person.
I should’ve said something years ago. But he was savoring his youth and clearly didn’t want anything more than a booty call.
And I was fine with waiting if I had to. Trick riding consumed most of my free time and that was enough for me at the moment.
I figured when something finally happened between us, the timing would be right. Everything would fall into place and it’d feel as natural as it was talking on the phone for those six months.
