Page 136 of Stay With Me
“I’m sorry. I truly am because this is not what I’d hoped for us. But it’s better this way. You’ll understand when the pain subsides that I did you a favor.”
He flinches like I backhanded him. “Don’t fuckin’ do me any favors, Sunny. I’m not lettin’ you go.”
Of all the ways I predicted he’d react, this wasn’t even in the top ten of how I thought he’d respond.
“Why do you want to drag this out? It’ll hurt worse the more we invest into this and it ends up not working out. At least this way, it only lasted a month, and we can move on easier.”
He crosses his arms stubbornly. “I don’t wanna move on andneither do you. We belong together. You want this as much as I do.”
“But it’s not just about me anymore. I have to also consider my baby’s needs now and what’s best for them.” I’ll be juggling so much as it is, I can’t bring him down with me.
“And I couldn’t play a role in that?”
He makes it sound so easy, as if being around Travis or a child who looks like him won’t remind him every damn day what I’d done. As if his fear of me going back to Travis wouldn’t surface and leave doubt in his mind.
“Of course you could, as a friend, but you need to move on. You have so much love to give and so much to offer therightwoman. My focus will be on this new phase in my life and all the changes I’ll be going through. I can’t offer you what you need. Why’re you making this difficult?”
He licks his lips and nods once like he’s defeated from arguing. Then he stands, putting distance between us.
“Say whatever you want, but you’re foolin’ yourself if you think I’m just gonna walk away from you.” He paces on the other side of the coffee table and my heart pounds in sync with every step he takes. Then he stops and stares at me. “You will always be the love of my life no matter if we’re together or not. There is nomovingon for me. There is and has always been only you.”
This time, there’s no stopping them. The tears I’ve held back fall down my cheeks and if I don’t leave right now, I’m going to unravel in front of him. “I think it’s best if I go.”
When I move toward the door, he follows and then opens it for me.
Great, it’s raining.Justperfect.
Before I leave, he leans in and brushes the pad of his thumbs under my eyes. He’s so close that I can smell the familiar scent of his cologne.
“You sleep on what I said, Sunny. I’ll see you tomorrow for Thanksgiving.”
He cups the back of my head, presses a kiss to my forehead,and when I close my eyes, I can almost imagine the life he’s painted for us.
“Drive safe.”
Unable to look him in the eyes, I lower my gaze to the ground. “Good night.”
Driving home is miserable. I already hate driving at night, but trying to see in the dark on back country roads while it’s raining and I’m crying is practically a near-death experience.
Deep down, I know I did the right thing. Tripp’s too amazing of a guy to realize it’s better this way. He deserves the kind of partnership where he doesn’t have to deal with baby daddy issues or a child that isn’t his. And right now, there’s no way I can put my all into a relationship while also configuring my life around to have a child. He should find someone who can give him everything and more.
By the time I get to my apartment, my face is a mess, it feels like my heart’s having palpitations, and I’m second-guessing everything. I just want to take a bath, text Noah an update, and crash. With tomorrow being a holiday, I won’t have to get up early for work, but I don’t know how I’m going to sit with their entire family and pretend everything’s fine.
When I get out of my SUV, I cover my head with my bag and walk toward my apartment. It’s not until I go to unlock my door that I realize it’s already ajar.
What the fuck?
Looking around in circles, I don’t see or hear anything, but I pull out my taser anyway. Then I push my door, and it creaks wide open. When I don’t hear any other noises, I grab my phone for the flashlight and check to see if anyone’s inside.
“Hello?” I call out and am greeted with silence.
Taking two steps inside, I flick on the light switch and gasp when I see the destruction.
My couch and coffee table are flipped over. Trash, shoes, and picture frames littered everywhere. My dining table chairs are broken. Shoes I had by the door are thrown across the room.
I don’t dare go any further and instead go back to my car and call the sheriff. The dispatcher said I’m the fourth break-in tonight. That does nothing to ease the fear flowing through me at feeling violated. Some stranger was in my home, touching my things, and going through my belongings.
I want to vomit, and this time it’s not because I’m pregnant.
