Page 98 of Once Upon a Crown
The question was too personal for someone who was merely the captain of my guard. But for the most part, I viewed Rhen more like a friend than just somebody who was obligated to protect me with their life.
“Things are fine. Cai is under a lot of stress. I mean, we all are. There is a lot at stake here.” Of all things, I didn’t care to have this particular conversation with Rhen. Not when there were so many more important things to worry about, especially with his new information about the stones. Once I’d sent for the armies of Everness, finding the third object would be my top priority.
“You and Cai will make it through this, just like you’ve made it through everything else,” Rhen reassured me.
For both our sakes, I hoped he was right.
Chapter 39
Gwen
I lowered the bow as I inspected the target in the distance.
Considering how long it had been since I’d had proper practice, I expected my aim to be worse. The arrow impaled the target on the edge of the centre dot. I contemplated pulling every arrow out and starting again but my arms ached.
Based on the way the light had changed, I had to have been out there for hours already. My face felt numb, and I could hardly feel my fingers anymore.
I begrudgingly stalked over to the target and started removing the arrows, one by one, before placing them in my quiver.
My footsteps echoed over the quiet gardens when I walked up the stone steps. I entered the palace with the sole intent of going to my rooms and taking a long, hot bath. I requested dinner in my room as well, like I’d been having every evening for the past few days.
I wasn’t sure if anyone took their dinners together in the dining hall. I suspected, at the very least, some of the soldiers might, now that the palace was being turned into a fortress. But I didn’t quite feel like facing everyone just yet.
There were soldiers everywhere on the lower floors. It was strange to see the palace in such a state. Everyone felt on edge. I was grateful for the more silent hallways as I reached the upper floors, where the royal family’s rooms and guest chambers were. Thankfully, I got to keep my old room with all my things. It was as if my bedroom was the only thing that hadn’t changed in all the time that had passed.
A bedroom door opened to my right, and I nearly jumped at the sudden sound.
Lance looked a little surprised to see me. We hadn’t spoken much since arriving at the palace, mostly because I’d been trying my best to avoid people altogether. And because I wasn’t entirely sure where I stood with Lance yet — nor did I have the mental capacity for such a conversation.
“Gwen.” His eyes travelled to the bow and quiver in my hands. “I see you’ve been out?”
“I just needed to get my mind off... everything, I guess.”
He leaned against his doorframe, wearing a black shirt and matching black trousers, his hair neatly combed.
“Have you talked to Cai again recently?”
I nodded silently.
“Are you still angry with him?” Lance asked carefully. I could tell by his expression that he wasn’t trying to stir anything up but that he was honestly wondering.
“No,” I said at first, and then, “I mean, I don’t think so. What Thatcher did was unforgiveable.” Still, he was my brother.
“I still think you’re allowed to be sad about it.”
“Am I?” I clenched my teeth, not particularly wanting to feel vulnerable in front of him right now. Not him. Not anyone. I didn’t like people seeing me cry.
“You watched me sob my eyes out when Eloisa passed away,” Lance reminded me.
“But that was different. She didn’t stab your whole family in the back.” Mourning him made me feel like I was a traitor myself. And yet... there was so much pain inside my chest that sometimes it was hard to breathe.
“He was still your brother, Gwen. And you loved him.” Lance stepped away from the threshold, approaching me. “And despite what he did, you’re allowed to grieve for him.”
“Maybe.” I didn’t have the energy to try to disagree.
“Is that why you’ve been hiding out in your rooms these last few days?”
I nodded slowly. “Why, did you think I was avoiding you again?”
