Page 80 of Once Upon a Crown
I let him cry on my shoulder, willing to sit there for the rest of the day if it would make him feel better. “I know you miss your mum.” I tried to soothe him, rubbing circles on his back. “But I promise you she is looking over you right now and she is proud of the man you are and what you’re doing for your kingdom.” Cai sobbed against me, and I only pulled him closer.
“I know this will probably be the hardest thing either of us ever has to do.” My neck was wet from Cai’s tears, but I didn’t want to pull away. “But you and I are going to make it through this.” I turned my head to press a kiss to his cheek. “Together.”
Chapter 33
Cai
I sat with Elara holding me for a few minutes before pulling back and wiping the tears from my face, attempting to pull myself together again.
“I have to go and find Lord Burrow,” I said, clearing my throat. “We need to have a discussion about today and our plans for moving forward.”
I stood up from the bed and Elara was quick to follow. “Do you really think that’s a good idea after everything that has happened today?”
I was already making my way towards her bedroom door, my mind occupied with too many thoughts at once. Today was a big victory and I should have been happy. But there were also losses, and the road that lay ahead of us was still a very long and treacherous one. This was only the beginning. I was an exiled king in the process of reclaiming my throne. But I needed more than a palace and a throne. I needed loyal soldiers and battle plans.
“Maybe you should just take the rest of the day for yourself. All these things can wait till tomorrow.”
“It can’t wait,” I replied, reaching the door. “Every minute we don’t do something is a minute that Aries comes closer to destroying us.”
I stepped out of her room, thinking about our next steps and of all the things I had to take care of in the upcoming days. The news that we’d reclaimed Mistwood wouldn’t take long to reach Aries, and I had no doubts that he would retaliate.
“Cai, you just experienced something horrible and traumatising. You can’t just sweep it under the carpet and pretend it didn’t happen.”
I turned around to face her. “I don’t have a choice.” I’d spent endless weeks mourning and grieving. But if I didn’t refocus all my efforts now, I was going to lose my kingdom. “Kings at war do not have the luxury of falling apart.” Something had happened to me in that throne room. It felt as though I’d been woken up from a long and hazy dream. I knew as I sat in Elara’s room that it would be the last time I cried for my mother for a while. “I have a responsibility towards Norrandale now.”
“And I’m not asking you to shy away from any of your responsibilities,” she said. “I’m asking you to look after yourself. To not shut me out again. I want you to confide in me, Cai.” I didn’t want to shut her out at all. But I had a tunnel vision of my goal, and my personal well-being was not a priority anymore. “Please don’t do anything unnecessary.”
“Unnecessary?” I asked. “You think me fearing for our lives is unnecessary? You do know you could have died today?”
Even saying the words out loud created an ache in my chest. I could not describe the fear I’d felt when I saw the Argonian guard attack her. Didn’t want to consider what might have happened if I’d shown up only a few moments later. Losing her would be a fate worse than death. Did she not understand that?
“Don’t you think I know that? And I’m not the only one, Cai. I almost watched you lose your life more than once today.”
“Is that why you used the Myrgonite dagger?” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“So that’s what this is actually about,” she said, placing her hands on her hips. “You’re upset about that damned stone.”
I only noticed then how loud our conversation had grown and that anyone passing at the end of the hallway would be able to hear every word.
There was a parlour a little further down the hall and so I pulled Elara inside.
“Of course I’m upset,” I said, closing the door behind me. “You know how dangerous it is.”
“He was going to kill you, Cai. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t have done the same for me.”
I thought back to the moment I heard Elara scream. Of course I would have done the same. I would have burned down my kingdom and the rest of the world along with it if it meant saving her life.
I should have told her as much. I wanted to. But then I thought back to all the things we’d read about Queen Riona and what the magic had done to her. We were messing with something we didn’t understand and I feared the consequences. “We shouldn’t be carrying that thing around in the first place.”
“Where else did you want me to put it? It wasn’t safe to leave at the camp. Or would you rather I’d have left it back in Everness for Lance to find and use as he pleases?”
It was a valid question. We’d been so focused on finding all of the objects, but we hadn’t decided where to hide the two we’d already found as we looked for the third. Not to mention we still needed to find a way to destroy them without killing anyone.
“Where’s the necklace?”
“I left it with Anesta. She doesn’t know what it is, but I know she will keep it safe along with my other things, and I didn’t want to keep the two objects together in case someone should find them.” It was probably the smarter thing to do but that didn’t put me at ease in any way.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have Rhen working on the diary anymore. He already knows too much.”
