Page 84 of If The Crown Fits
“What is your problem?” I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in the air. I hardly knew the point of this conversation anymore.
“My problem?” he repeated, looking away for a moment with half a sneer as he traced a finger across his bottom lip, drawingmy attention to it without meaning to. “You want to know what my problem is?”
“Damn right I do.” Not wanting to grant him an advantage of any kind, I risked stepping closer. I wasn’t going to back away any longer. I was not a deer to be hunted.
“My problem—” he swallowed, tone softening, eyes not meeting mine — “is this.” As the words left his mouth, he picked up my hand from where it hung at my side.
“My hand?” I asked idiotically.
“Yes, your hands. Your hands that keep holding knives to my throat and your hair that smells like a field of wildflowers and that damned mouth that won’t stop cursing at me.”
He looked at me then, and I was frozen. “My problem, Lara, is that I cannot sleep or eat or do anything anymore without thinking about you and it is driving me positively mad.”
I plucked my hand away from his. “Oh, so all of this is somehow my fault now?”
“Yes, of course it’s your fault.” His breathing became more rapid. “Because if you hadn’t worked with Lance and I didn’t meet you, then none of this would have happened and I would never have...” He trailed off.
“You wouldn’t have what?”
“It doesn’t matter. I just want you to stop lying to yourself.”
The anger in my voice had not yet disappeared and neither had the frustration in his.
“Everything about this is ridiculous. You are the future king of Norrandale and I am an outlaw.”
“I don’t care who or what you are,” he admitted. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that after everything we’ve been through, you feel nothing for me at all?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“You’re lying,” he replied. “I can tell when you’re lying, remember?”
“Nothing could ever happen between us and you know that.”
“You’re unbelievable,” he muttered.
“Me? I’m unbelievable?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yes, you’re unbelievable. I just poured out my heart in front of you and you had no trouble ripping it to shreds, even though I know you feel the same!”
“What did you expect? That I would swoon and confess my love to you? Is that why you’re so mad?”
“No, I’m mad because it’s one thing to lie to a person, but it’s another to lie to yourself.”
“I am not lying to myself. Just accept the fact that I don’t love you, Cai.”
“You’re lying and I can prove it.”
“Well, I’d like to see you try. You’re just a bastard who can’t take nofor an answer.” I tried to push past him, but Cai grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back.
“Then tell me,” he persisted. I tried to wrench free, but he wouldn’t let me go. “Tell me to leave you alone. Tell me that you hate me and that you never want to see me again. Stab my heart a thousand times over if you like, but please don’t lie to me.” His hand drifted to my upper back.
I had forgotten how to breathe, with him so close. “I don’t love you,” I said softly, though I couldn’t decide which one of us was actually the liar.
“Prove it,” Cai challenged with a whisper, and then he kissed me.
My immediate reaction was to simultaneously push him away and grab anything my hands could get hold of. My eyes closed on their own account and my other senses were left to take over.
He had challenged me and I had no intention of being proven wrong, but then his lips pressed against mine with a sense of yearning that I hadn’t experienced before, perhapsdidn’t even understand. It was intoxicating and I wanted more. No. My sense of reason threatened to kick in. I didn’t want to give in to his hands that stroked my back. I didn’t want to give in to his mouth that coaxed me closer to him. I didn’t want to give in to him at all.
