Page 79 of If The Crown Fits
“You will ride with me,” Cai said as we walked to his mare. I didn’t see any point in arguing. Perhaps he knew that if I didn’t cling to someone or something, I wasn’t going to make it back home.
“What’s wrong?” Ray asked as we mounted.
Cai only replied, “Not now.” Our party rode steadily away. Cordelia and Cai’s men were finally safe. All as it should be. Except the only thing I could think about was Rhen sitting somewhere in a dark cell, cursing the day he met me.
I held on to Cai as the horse proceeded to canter. The sky above was still tinted with grey, but rain refused to fall and wipeaway the blood I felt I carried on my hands. Blood of the man who’d saved my life. The ride back to camp felt long and dreary. I should have been relieved that the people we went to save were here with us now and completely unharmed. It could have been so much worse. But Rhen’s fate haunted me.
“I never thanked you.” Cai broke the silence between us as we fell behind the rest of the group.
“For what?”
“For not leaving me behind in that cell at Woodsbrook Manor.”
“Cai—” I started.
“I know you say you have your reasons. And true as that may be, who knows what would have happened if you hadn’t come back for me. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I suppose.”
We arrived back at camp, tired and hungry. I dismounted and watched for a moment as Cai led his mare back to the paddock. Then I turned around and stormed off to my uncle’s cabin. Ray was nowhere in sight.
The wooden door slammed open at my hands, cold air rushing in as I stood on the threshold.
He didn’t look up at me, not a trace of shock or surprise on his face. Arthur wasn’t the kind of man to be shocked or surprised. “Well, how did it go, then?”
“He’s going to kill Rhen.”
“Who?” The table in front of him was filled with papers and coins — he had been counting money.
“Lance!” I cried out. “Who else?”
“So he’s figured out who’s been giving us information. Not too bad for a petty prince.”
“Did you hear what I just said? He’s going to kill him tomorrow.”
“Shame, really — though we have all the information we need, so I doubt we would’ve had much use for him after today.”
“How can you say that?” I spat out. “If it weren’t for him, I probably wouldn’t be alive right now.”
“He’s a means to an end, Lara.” Uncle finally looked up from his work. “You’ve been around these people for too long. They’ve made you sentimental and we know that sentiment is only a weakness.”
I knew that regardless of any words or insults I spat at my uncle, the results would remain the same, so I stormed out and ran back to my cabin, not having the courage or guts to face anyone.
I didn’t make it to the cabin door before hurling the contents of my stomach out onto the grass. Guilt. So much built-up guilt. Lance was going to kill Rhen because he had helped my family. Rhen was going to die because of me. I placed my hand on the wall of the cabin and breathed deeply. I was being irrational. I was being emotional. I closed my eyes — breathed in and breathed out. My emotions weren’t going to change anything. This was a war, and war wouldn’t be war without casualties. I was part of it now, even though I didn’t want to be. Even though I still wanted to run.
In the days that followed, Cordelia remained silent and pale, refusing to eat or talk about what had happened in Levernia. I couldn’t judge any of her actions — she was mourning the loss of her brother. Though some small part of me was thankful that she didn’t show any form of hostility against me. But it pricked at my gut, seeing her like that, seeing my friend in pain. And that dark part of my soul that stomached stealing from the rich, the part that boiled with hatred for the monarchy who forced innocent people to become criminals, that awful part of me wanted — perhaps even needed — some form of revenge.
Chapter 22
The Evernean Forest
Cai
Alastor swung his sword towards my torso and I ducked away, rolling over to block his next swing, which would be for my neck. Over the years we had become familiar with each other’s fighting patterns and it had become a betting game, of when one of us would break the routine and surprise the other.
I pressed forwards, forcing Alastor to take a step back and give me a slight advantage, which only lasted a moment before he jumped at me, dodging my sword as he knocked the air out of my stomach with his fist.
I let out a slight huff and the crowd, which had formed around us from the camp, clapped at his advantage. Alastor gave me a moment to catch my breath before advancing on me with full force, his jabs swift and precise, and the muscles in my arms started to protest as I defended myself.
