Page 91 of Love Bleeds Red
“Come have a seat,” she says, patting the bed. “I didn’t bring much, but something told me to bring the basics.”
I watch as she pulls out a smaller bag from the suitcase and sets out a stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, and a small zip-up first aid kit onto the bed. Her shoulders square, almost like she’sslipping into professional mode. It makes me feel better to see her this way, more secure.
“So,” she says, standing beside me. “I want you to know that you’re in complete control here. We can stop anytime you want, and you don’t have to answer any questions you’re not ready for.”
“Okay,” I say, uncrossing my arms.
“And of course, everything we talk about is confidential. I may be Damon’s girlfriend, but right now you’re my patient.” Her hand reaches for my arm and instead of flinching, I allow her to place a gentle hold there. “Are you okay if I take some notes in my phone?”
I nod. It would be helpful to not have to repeat myself later.
“Have you been eating regularly? Getting enough water?”
“More recently, yes. Before...” I hesitate, not wanting to get into the details yet. “It depended on the situation.”
Blake makes a note in her phone. “Any pain I should know about? Headaches, stomach issues, anything like that?”
I take a moment to assess my body. “Not really. There’s been headaches, and pain, but I think it was situational.”
“I’d like to listen to your heart and lungs, check your blood pressure. Nothing invasive. If you’re okay with that?” She pauses. “Oh and I know this might be difficult to think about, but have you had any medical attention while you were gone? Any treatments or medications?”
I know what she’s really asking… the same thing I’m most anxious about. “There’s been medications, but I don’t know what they were. Otherwise, no. I haven’t seen a doctor.”
Blake’s expression doesn’t change, but I notice her brows raise slightly. “Okay. We don’t need to get into details now, but it would be good to get some blood work done. Just to make sure everything’s okay.”
I hang my head and murmur in agreement.
“We can find a good clinic nearby. I’ll come with you… if you’d like.”
I take a shaky breath. “Maybe tomorrow? I think I need to process tonight first.”
“Of course,” she says, her voice so gentle tears well in my eyes. “And Bailey, I want you to know that whatever happened to you, it doesn’t define you. You’re in there still.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat. “I don’t feel like me anymore.”
“That’s normal… Trauma is a bitch. It changes us, but down here,” she taps her chest, “in our core, we’re still the same.” She reaches for a necklace tucked into her shirt. “It’s nothing like what you’ve gone through, but I lost my mom and brother super close together, and then my other brother recently.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say.
She stares past me at a spot on the wall, but I catch the pain lingering in her eyes. “For a long time, I felt like the Blake I used to be had died with them. I still struggle, but talking about it has helped. There’s a really good therapist back in New York, if you’d like to see her… whenever we head back, I mean. She helped me process my grief, taught me that healing doesn’t mean going back to exactly who you were before, but taking your experiences, learning from them, and finding a new version of yourself.”
I don’t know how to respond and find myself sitting with her words. She seems to snap back to the present, tutting to herself, and grabbing her stethoscope.
“Ready to make sure you’re physically okay so you can focus on everything else. Is it alright if I listen to your heart?”
She runs through a basic exam, and I notice that after the initial contact my shoulders relax slightly. For the first time in over a year, someone is touching me with care instead ofviolence or control. It’s a small thing, but maybe it’s the first step toward reclaiming my body as my own.
“Everything sounds good,” Blake says finally, packing up her equipment. “Your heart rate’s a little elevated, but that’s normal given everything you’ve been through. Your lungs are clear.”
“So I’m okay?”
“You’re alive, you’re breathing, your heart is beating. The rest...” She gives me a small smile. “The rest we’ll figure out one day at a time.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
LEON
Blake’s footstepson the stairs interrupt my restless pacing. Before I can ask where Bailey is, she raises her hand to stop me.
